So what does it take then to be sexually satisfied, to be in tune and expressive of our sexual desires in a healthy and fulfilling way? And why do we find it so difficult to achieve this? Why do we feel that this kind of pleasure is reserved for the beautiful and rich, young and successful?
Most people, in my experience, barely let themselves explore their desires, their physical desires. So that’s the first thing. How can we satisfy something in ourselves that we never really took the time to understand? And why do we do this, why do we suppress parts of ourselves? My guess, because it’s so taboo. And let’s not forget all the pain and suffering that has come from the expression of sexuality and desire in the past. And today, not just in the past. It’s been a natural and often legitimate fear for so long that we never really questioned it. And in a lot of ways, that giddy feeling when we talk about our sexual experiences, is a good thing, a Great thing! But we feel fear and we lump it together with anxiety or intuition telling us to move away from the thing we’re thinking about, not to talk about it and to suppress it, keep it secret or let it go if we can. We get scared to share our not-so-perfect moments with others when we do attempt express these desires, sometimes even keeping things that bother us from our closest friends from fear of judgement, etc. We get scared to tell people what we like or wish we could experience sexually because, ‘Well, what if they don’t feel the same way?’ or, ‘What if they think that’s weird or gross or sounds terrifying?’
And we make ourselves either suppress these desires and urges, or keep them secret, verrry secret, because if someone found out… (insert biggest fear here)!
And we all have these fears, but we also all have these, sort of, weird urges and desires too. And I only say weird because the vast diversity in our desires from person to person make us feel separate. We start breaking things down to feel more comfortable with our own thoughts, like, ‘this’ is weird, but ‘this’ is normal. My desires are different than your desires, but I know a whole group of people who have the same desires as me and that makes me feel comfortable enough to express those desires. So I can say to myself, if you don’t have those same desires as us, you have totally different desires, then you’re weird. But I’m not, I’m normal. Or if you like something different then you’re weird. And simply knowing that this group of people are like me makes me feel safe and comfortable enough to express my desires because it’s not that weird because these people like it too. Social norms, cultural norms, the point is we’re all the same. We just don’t see it that way. We don’t see each other that way.
There’s only the weird. That’s theTruth. Nobody on the planet feels exactly the same way in exactly the same quantities about one thing, let alone Every thing. We’re all weird AND there’s nothing wrong with going out into the world with the intention of finding people with a compatible weirdness. You just gotta be cool with different kinds of weirdness because it’s all normal and more importantly, it’s all relevant. Other people’s weirdness shouldn’t piss you off, you know deep down that it’s crucial to our evolution.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
To truly be sexually satisfied, or satisfied in any part of your life, you have to get good at being weird. You have to be ok with your weirdness and everybody else’s. But start with you, you know. You gotta accept you to accept other people. And you’ll never get what you want without this. Stop fighting the things you’re afraid of and start exploring the things you love. There is a time to stand up and fight, I understand this, but what most people don’t realize is, when you go in the direction of the things you desire with love and acceptance in your heart you’re free. You create a space for others to be free. And the best way to fight the things you dislike about the world is to be who you really are. You don’t move from hate, you move from love. It’s fun, and easy and light and it’s the only way to have a real impact on the world in a positive way.
And this is really easy to start. All you have to do is decide whether or not you think each thing you desire is ok. Be it morally or generally, or however else you wanna break it down.
Do you feel like this desire is ok? Yes? Ok great, next one.
Do you feel like that desire is ok? Yes, ok great. And on, and on you go.
Now, when you hit one that makes you feel unsure, like, ‘Oh i duno, this one’s pretty weird. I always wanted to fuck two guys at the same time while wearing french lingerie… (or whatever, insert your weirdest sexual fantasy here, the one that makes you the most unsure)’, and ask yourself why you think it’s such a scary or terrible desire? What makes you so unsure about this desire?
You’re not trying to hurt anyone, right, so what’s the big deal?
And we say, ‘Ya but it’s super slutty. And where am I gunna find two guys like that anyways, they’re just gunna be like they are in porns, where it’s all nasty and aggressive and super demeaning to the woman, and you know, I’m not into that kinda thing. I really just want… (insert greatest version of that desire here) …the two men at my beck and call, trusting and intrigued. Two guys there with the sole purpose of pleasing me and being pleased and grateful in the moment themselves, as I would be to have such a luscious sexual experience. A sort of mutual respect established and sexuality explored.
And when we’re being real about it, we all have these desires that we’ve told ourselves and allowed ourselves to believe are wrong in some way. That’s why we feel the resistance to them. And from this belief we breed lack of satisfaction, and sometimes it leads us to believe other lies like, ‘There’s just no one out there for me that…’ or ‘If I do this I can’t have that, and I reeeally want that, but if I do the ‘this’, I won’t ever get the ‘that’.
But ask yourself, is it really wrong or are these just lies you decided to believe? Most important thing you could ever do is question the source. Ask yourself Why do we believe these things. Is there any real merit to these beliefs, or do they just come from fear based lies and delusions, or worse, conscious oppression…?
Is it really necessary to suppress how we feel sexually if our intention is not to hurt anyone?
And if you come to the conclusion that it Is ok to want the things you want, you can move into that intention. You can move into the space where it’s ok. And from that space, you can love how you feel for you will feel what true acceptance of self feels like. And this is where you create from, this is when you really get the things you want and you can really change all those things that call to you in the world, all the injustices and things, you specifically, are attracted to and pulled by. This is the Really Big Stuff!
When you move in a direction from this place inside you, this feeling inside you, and you can feel the weight being lifted in the very centre of you, you are capable of extraordinary things. You’ll feel the lightness of this acceptance and the excitement of the unknown, because deep down we know two things. 1. It’s all going to work out, it’s going to be ok. And 2. You Are capable of making a BIG change in the world, and most of us want to do exactly that.
And we say, ‘Ya, but what?’
Cuz see, most of us have No Fuckin’ CLUE what we really want cuz we never let ourselves explooore the Deep Down within us. This is a Kyle Cease thing, you guys should check him out if you’re feelin’ the vibe of this blog. He’s got an amazing YouTube channel that I’ve spent some real time on lately and it’s really helped me get clear and cleanse out all the shit I’ve been keeping myself distracted with. Great stuff!
So, when you do this, when you feel that feeling of ‘it’s ok’, when you allow yourself to want things and desire things in a physical and healthy way like this… watch what happens. Mark my words, you won’t be disappointed. One step at a time, you get into the space where the things you desire exist and just kind of… happen. This isn’t something I read in a book somewhere, this is something I understand experientially. I’ve felt the difference. I’ve become closer and talked with people who have felt this creative and limitless place of possibility and inspiration and excitement and pleasure. It’s unlike anything else I’ve learned about life, about what I’m capable of. And what we’re All capable of.
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live it’s whole life believing it is stupid.
I am theConductor, but you can call me, E.
Please feel Free to comment below or share this content with people. I’d love to chat and explore more openly how we can become sexually satisfied and help others do the same.
So much Love,