Rules of Running A Roster: The Conclusion.

Part One: My thoughts about sex have never been ‘normal’ but they have always been honest.

I remember when I was in high school, how ready I was to have sex, how badly I wanted to taste all the pleasures I had seen. I wanted to experience for myself what it was like to be so consumed by a man that I couldn’t help but scream out in total pleasure.

I knew what an orgasm felt like, but I wanted… I needed to know what it was like to have one caused by another. I needed to know what it was like to cause such a peak of pleasure in another.

I had no intention of being with one man my entire life, I wanted to taste them all. I wanted to experience all different kinds of love making, and casual sex, and primal fucking… and experience things I couldn’t even fathom in my youth. I wanted to taste seduction.

I didn’t feel guilty about that until I started having sex and getting involved with guys, and like I’ve hinted at in the past, I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. Hurting people and making huge mistakes that I would’ve regretted if I believed in regret.

But why regret something in life? I’ve never killed anyone, and you can’t live a full life without ever hurting a single soul, even by accident, so I learned. I learned and I put rules in place for myself so I could get what I wanted and not cause any damage. I wanted to take, I wanted to take so much… but I was fully willing to give as much as I demanded. So I strived to find my balance.

I was a loner most of my life, a very social loner. I lived in my head most of my late teens, never needing anyone to agree or even understand me in order to move forward with my desires. I was always at parties and social gatherings, but I made sure to spend an equal amount of time alone with my thoughts and my own energy.

I realize not everyone has that in them, but my spirit has always been fiercely independent. My mother taught me that, and I suppose I was never really alone because she was always there when I needed her.

Again, I realize, not everyone has that. Which is why I decided to start this blog. I want everyone to have someone. So I’m here, with you, for you. Anything you ever need to be understood in, I will be here for you.

Especially as a woman, I think it’s crucial to our evolution that we stand together in our desires and substantial needs. The media and celebrity culture we’ve created today are completely changing the way women are viewed sexually. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. I think it’s great that women have the choice now on how far they take their sexual exploits, but we have to keep clear in our minds what we want in order to remain in control of our lives.

You can’t give into someone else’s opinion of you and your actions and then complain because you’re not being treated with the respect you need. Take the reins and mould your own perception and persona.

You are responsible for you own emotional stability, so you have to be clear with what you desire. You can do anything you like in this world and still respect yourself as long as you know in your heart, and keep clear in your mind what it is you’re doing, you will never lose the value you hold for yourself. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you, and what you do with your life isn’t up to them.

I understand though, what it’s like to be shunned, to be labeled as something you don’t see in yourself, especially when you’re sleeping with a variety of guys. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth doing is.

My advice to you on this front is simple, keep your private life, private. Your personal life is separate from your private life. You can share your personal life with anyone you choose, but choose wisely when you speak about your private life. Especially your current private life. You may think you have a tight inner circle, and time will tell, but regardless, always protect yourself when opening up about these thoughts, desires, and actions.

There’s only a subtle difference between what’s personal and what’s private, and I can break it down for you easily enough. Personal is what makes you unique, your taste in men for example. Private is what can cause you damage or stress if it gets out, like who you’re currently fucking.

Even if you completely trust the people around you, be aware when you’re speaking on things that can damage relationships. First, ask yourself if you really need to talk about it, why you’re talking about it. To share a story? Ok fair enough, just don’t ever let it be because you need the justification of it. You’re giving away too much power if that’s the case and the fact that you need justification should be a red flag, for real, for real… Keep it to yourself. Go internal if you have to. Break it down in your mind.

Do like I do, start a journal. Talk to yourself, talk to the universe, but don’t ever… EVER speak your secrets to another. If there’s private things you discuss between you and someone you fuck, don’t talk that to anyone. Even if you know the stories will never get told. It’s not right to share those intimate secrets, even with your closest friend.

That’s the intimacy between you and someone you’ve laid with, and if you want to keep that strong, then keep that secret, keep it private. Put it in the vault, and never let it out. Even if your lover fucks up and speaks your secrets to another, keep strong to your values and keep your shit to yourself. That’s how you attract your like. Live on another level and watch people rise to meet you there, watch your equals come into your world and surround you. Be the change you want to see in the world. I love you all and I hope you enjoy my musings as much as I enjoy sharing them with you. It’s going to be a big couple months to come, I have so much in store for you!

With that being said, I’ve got some majour outsourcing to do to bring you guys Pt.2 of the Conclusion for Rules of Running A Roster, and I want to hear from you!!! I want to know exactly and fully what you think about the rules, and how the ideas I put forth make you feel about your own sexuality. Damn, I even wanna hear from you if you think I’m crazy, or if you’re crazy. I like a good nut job as much as anyone, so don’t be shy… tell me what’s on your mind!! Here’s some questions if you’re at a loss for where to start.

Do the rules make sense to you?

Do you think a woman can successfully run a roster?

Have you ever tried to set some rules or moral guidelines for yourself to be more successful in your sex life?

If you fuck consistently, different men, what’s your number one concern about keeping the peace?

Do you love to fuck as much as I do?

Lastly, I wanna know… do you believe in undying love?

Your loyal friend,

E