Rules of Running A Roster: The Conclusion.

Part One: My thoughts about sex have never been ‘normal’ but they have always been honest.

I remember when I was in high school, how ready I was to have sex, how badly I wanted to taste all the pleasures I had seen. I wanted to experience for myself what it was like to be so consumed by a man that I couldn’t help but scream out in total pleasure.

I knew what an orgasm felt like, but I wanted… I needed to know what it was like to have one caused by another. I needed to know what it was like to cause such a peak of pleasure in another.

I had no intention of being with one man my entire life, I wanted to taste them all. I wanted to experience all different kinds of love making, and casual sex, and primal fucking… and experience things I couldn’t even fathom in my youth. I wanted to taste seduction.

I didn’t feel guilty about that until I started having sex and getting involved with guys, and like I’ve hinted at in the past, I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. Hurting people and making huge mistakes that I would’ve regretted if I believed in regret.

But why regret something in life? I’ve never killed anyone, and you can’t live a full life without ever hurting a single soul, even by accident, so I learned. I learned and I put rules in place for myself so I could get what I wanted and not cause any damage. I wanted to take, I wanted to take so much… but I was fully willing to give as much as I demanded. So I strived to find my balance.

I was a loner most of my life, a very social loner. I lived in my head most of my late teens, never needing anyone to agree or even understand me in order to move forward with my desires. I was always at parties and social gatherings, but I made sure to spend an equal amount of time alone with my thoughts and my own energy.

I realize not everyone has that in them, but my spirit has always been fiercely independent. My mother taught me that, and I suppose I was never really alone because she was always there when I needed her.

Again, I realize, not everyone has that. Which is why I decided to start this blog. I want everyone to have someone. So I’m here, with you, for you. Anything you ever need to be understood in, I will be here for you.

Especially as a woman, I think it’s crucial to our evolution that we stand together in our desires and substantial needs. The media and celebrity culture we’ve created today are completely changing the way women are viewed sexually. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. I think it’s great that women have the choice now on how far they take their sexual exploits, but we have to keep clear in our minds what we want in order to remain in control of our lives.

You can’t give into someone else’s opinion of you and your actions and then complain because you’re not being treated with the respect you need. Take the reins and mould your own perception and persona.

You are responsible for you own emotional stability, so you have to be clear with what you desire. You can do anything you like in this world and still respect yourself as long as you know in your heart, and keep clear in your mind what it is you’re doing, you will never lose the value you hold for yourself. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you, and what you do with your life isn’t up to them.

I understand though, what it’s like to be shunned, to be labeled as something you don’t see in yourself, especially when you’re sleeping with a variety of guys. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth doing is.

My advice to you on this front is simple, keep your private life, private. Your personal life is separate from your private life. You can share your personal life with anyone you choose, but choose wisely when you speak about your private life. Especially your current private life. You may think you have a tight inner circle, and time will tell, but regardless, always protect yourself when opening up about these thoughts, desires, and actions.

There’s only a subtle difference between what’s personal and what’s private, and I can break it down for you easily enough. Personal is what makes you unique, your taste in men for example. Private is what can cause you damage or stress if it gets out, like who you’re currently fucking.

Even if you completely trust the people around you, be aware when you’re speaking on things that can damage relationships. First, ask yourself if you really need to talk about it, why you’re talking about it. To share a story? Ok fair enough, just don’t ever let it be because you need the justification of it. You’re giving away too much power if that’s the case and the fact that you need justification should be a red flag, for real, for real… Keep it to yourself. Go internal if you have to. Break it down in your mind.

Do like I do, start a journal. Talk to yourself, talk to the universe, but don’t ever… EVER speak your secrets to another. If there’s private things you discuss between you and someone you fuck, don’t talk that to anyone. Even if you know the stories will never get told. It’s not right to share those intimate secrets, even with your closest friend.

That’s the intimacy between you and someone you’ve laid with, and if you want to keep that strong, then keep that secret, keep it private. Put it in the vault, and never let it out. Even if your lover fucks up and speaks your secrets to another, keep strong to your values and keep your shit to yourself. That’s how you attract your like. Live on another level and watch people rise to meet you there, watch your equals come into your world and surround you. Be the change you want to see in the world. I love you all and I hope you enjoy my musings as much as I enjoy sharing them with you. It’s going to be a big couple months to come, I have so much in store for you!

With that being said, I’ve got some majour outsourcing to do to bring you guys Pt.2 of the Conclusion for Rules of Running A Roster, and I want to hear from you!!! I want to know exactly and fully what you think about the rules, and how the ideas I put forth make you feel about your own sexuality. Damn, I even wanna hear from you if you think I’m crazy, or if you’re crazy. I like a good nut job as much as anyone, so don’t be shy… tell me what’s on your mind!! Here’s some questions if you’re at a loss for where to start.

Do the rules make sense to you?

Do you think a woman can successfully run a roster?

Have you ever tried to set some rules or moral guidelines for yourself to be more successful in your sex life?

If you fuck consistently, different men, what’s your number one concern about keeping the peace?

Do you love to fuck as much as I do?

Lastly, I wanna know… do you believe in undying love?

Your loyal friend,

E

Weekend Vibes: Test The Theory

There’s nothing more attractive and sexy than a woman who isn’t afraid to be unapologetically herself. And I’m not talking about swearing like a trucker and having no filter no matter who you’re speaking to. I do believe there’s a time and a place for everything, but I’m talking here about baring your soul to the people around you for the sake of being uniquely yourself and inspiring others to feel comfortable enough to do the same. You can pave the way if you’re unapologetic about who you are and you don’t let the people around you cast their gloomy shadow’s demeanour on your vibrant soul’s.

I have always had a gift for picking up on people’s internal dialogue, on their body language, on how they move and why they do what they do. Perception was something I became aware of at a very young age. I noticed how people perceived me, my movements and how it affected them, both internally and externally and how they perceived others. I learned to listen to and understand my own internal thoughts and feelings, which only furthered my understanding of people’s internal dialogue, and from this I understood deeply human desire, rebellion, and how much misery loves company.

As an effective byproduct, today I am very good at manipulating people’s perception of me which I use more often than not to lift the energy of a group and it is a quite profitable trait in many industries. It’s all a game of illusions, anyone who wears make-up and knows how to dress their specific body type knows this game better than they might initially realize. It’s one and the same when it comes to how people view you and their deep internal thoughts and feelings about you. That’s why I talk so much about being aware of how you carry yourself. People interpret your body language subconsciously without any effort, it’s a mixing of energies on a foundational level, everybody does it and it’s mostly unavoidable, unless you’re trained not to trust a person’s exterior or to appear ‘invisible’ in a public space. (Don’t worry! That will come later.)

You don’t have to pay any attention to the stigmas attached to manipulation. There are a lot of shitty people out there who aren’t trying to make the world a better place, so anyone’s else’s definition of manipulation is irrelevant in this conversation. You simply need to understand that you can use any of the gifts or skills that you have for the betterment of humanity if you so choose it, manipulation being one of them. We’re not the ones who are going to be part of a stereotypical group so brush off any prior understandings of taboo things like manipulation, dominance, or ego. I can teach you to observe people’s perceptions and biases and therefore be able to manipulate the way you’re perceived so you can get what you desire. Simple as that. Let me simplify for a second so you really know what I’m saying to you, what I’m offering to you. (For free. Many will charge a whack of cash to teach you how to speak in public, or dominate a room in a board meeting, ‘How To: Kill an interview and get the job you always wanted!’ but to me these are key skills to any success in life and I’d like to give them to you free of charge because I actually wanna see you succeed. I love you simply because we’re the same species, simple as that. I don’t need people to pay me for this service, I just hope it helps you get what you want and need. <3)

Think about when you go to a job interview, and you really want the job so you’re ridiculously nervous. You may be presenting a lack of confidence or even a lack people skills from your interviewer’s point of view and not because these things are necessarily true, you could have excellent people skills but right there in that moment you’re being perceived otherwise and it could cost you that job. Maybe you don’t just want this job, maybe you need it, so the pressure’s on. You’re sweating, internally you’re a fuckin’ mess, and afterwards you drive home knowing you didn’t do your best and if only you weren’t so damn anxious and wracked with nerves the job would’ve been yours. You know you could do it in your sleep!

It’s happened to the best of us, believe me but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be perceived however you like. The most seemingly hopeless cases can learn to come across as cool, calm and collected a 007 himself. In moments like these it’s easier to accomplish than you might think, regardless of your lack of social skills or experience, or who else has applied for the job or how much of a nervous wreck you are internally, or a million other possibilities.

If you know how to read someone’s over all demeanour then you’re way ahead of the game with an Ace up your sleeve and three more in your back pocket and the job is basically already yours. This can be applied to anything in your life, any dream, any fantasy. Only one disclaimer here: It has to be genuine, it has to be what you truly want, otherwise you’ll just continue around in circles, lying to yourself and attracting the hard learned lessons over and over again as the Universe enjoys the lashing like a possessive dominant with no intention of going easy on you. And like any Great Dom, it knows what you can and cannot handle, so NO FEAR! But if you’re like me at this point, you’re sick of learning the hard way and wanna skip the drama and move right along to the lesson.

If you heed the lessons, and make good sense of the deeper meaning here any job is yours, anything you can imagine, is yours. Isn’t that an incredible thought? You’ll know exactly what the person with the ability to hire you is looking for and if it suits you, you can give it to them with no hesitations or awkward/self conscious thoughts and feelings. Jobs are crucial stepping stones to building the empires we were born to create. Remember that when you are willingly to become the submissive to ones higher in command than you and let it make you hungry, in silence. Sometimes, it’s the easiest path to what you desire.

If you are going to spend even a moment of your waking life a slave, take pride in it and be the best damn slave they ever saw in whatever your chosen field is. Make sure when you move to be their equals they remember how proud you were of your position, and politely and professionally let them know, that time has now passed. They can accept it, or drown in their own limitations. The choice is theirs, let them make it.

You will know that if you want something, you can achieve it and so your air of confidence will work wonders on people’s perception of you. Most jobs aren’t about how much experience you have, or if the guy going for the job ahead of you has a degree and you don’t even have a diploma. Most companies are looking for one simple thing, someone to do the job, to accomplish the tasks, and to make the workload easier for everyone else. Especially the people above them. Become the problem solver at any company and the top is only the starting place for you and your achievements.

See, common sense isn’t that common because people always do the ‘what if’ thing and that only adds to the downward spiral of self doubt and fear of ‘failure’. Granted, realizing all the pros and cons when making any moves in business are crucial to the over all success of the company, but you cannot let the fear of conventional thoughts and ideas hold you back when making moves. It doesn’t always matter what someone else has done or is doing in the same field. You become vastly significant and valuable when you change the game in almost any industry. And if you live like that, if you live with no confinements, you’ll always be one step ahead. You’ll leave your ‘competition’ in the dust, laughing at your own craziness and lack of certainty. When you take risks it’s not about making big, stupid decisions. It’s about doing something no one has done before, or no one thought was possible and making it work for you for the success of the industry as a whole. You have to think it through.

If you’re unique in who you are and what you think, if you give into that, you’ll achieve things that no one else can. Is it really so hard to believe that you’re capable of things that no one else on the planet is?

Be unapologetically yourself wherever you go and whatever you do to find out for sure. You can test your own theories here, you’re not a child anymore. No need to take my word for it, give it a go and see how high you can soar in your own uncertainties. The sky isn’t the limit anymore, the universe is… and a far as we know, it could be limitless.

In our lifetime, I wanna test that theory.

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #7…

Check your emotions  …at the door.

You hear me? …at the door. No, I’m being serious. This is not a game of emotions. If it were then it wouldn’t be a fuckin Roster. It’d be someone you want to be exclusive with, or were at least considering it. Which means you should re-evaluate your objectives, your priorities, and your desires to find better clarity. And this goes back to Rule #1: Honesty. You have to be honest with yourself first, and if you’re catching feelings for someone you should think seriously about how much you care for them, and if you come to the conclusion that it’s more than just sex and friendship, if you really want them for your own, if you want to grow and build with them, then make the moves to see if it’s something they want as well. And still, you have to check your emotions at the door. Here’s the simple reason why:

You got into this with an understanding at the very least, and an agreement at the most of simple, no strings attached sex. So if you want to change that understanding because it’s evolved for you, you have to be honest and upfront about that. This isn’t one of those, ‘oh we don’t have to talk about it’ things, that’s child’s play. How many times do I have to tell you to Step Your Game Up?! You can’t just start acting differently and hope everything works out, then you’re emotionally vulnerable to them reacting apart from how you expect them to react. Cut the shit and check your emotions at the door. Have enough respect for them to sit down and talk to them as a fellow adult about what you want.

If you don’t want it to get awkward as you try and maneuver your way into a guy’s life, try just telling him straight up that you want more, or whatever you want. Just ask for it! Best case scenario, he says yes and you find out if it’s what you really want. Worst case scenario, he says no and then really all you have to do is make the decision if you want him like you have him, or if you can’t be with him at all anymore because it causes you emotional hardship. Again, do you see how you maintain control of your emotions at all times and the most crucial thing is to keep the power in fulfilling your own happiness?

This isn’t rocket science guys, and it isn’t the kind of game where you can give up the control of your emotions to someone. Like I hinted before, if it is that kind of game then you’re playing with your potential King, tread carefully… and we’ll be getting to that soon enough in the Conclusion of The Rules Pt.1 & Pt.2, where I’m gunna break down the concepts of running a roster on a psychological level, the why’s behind it and how to lay the rules out so they fit to your particular set of desires. I’ll be outsourcing and talking to some of my friends and acquaintances that I know play this game magnificently. I’ll be laying it bare for you guys to see what kind of light they can shed on the Rules. This can’t just be from my point of view or it won’t be achieving it’s maximum potential, so I’m bringing in some sly experts at running rosters. From fellow bartenders to 9-5ers who never followed the American Dream and remain free from dictatorship and live on their own terms. It’s gunna be a deliciously juicy couple of weeks in The Art Of Seduction guys, jus sayin. (Ya might wanna hit that follow button. I’ll wait here.)

Enough self promotion for now, let’s get back to it. I hate to make it seem so manipulative, but only because the word and the ideas behind this tactic hold such stigma, otherwise I’m all for it, but I suppose experience and history must do their part in ‘educating’ us. (PS. manipulation at it’s finest). In my mind it all comes down to integrity, where does the heart lie or the motive start, but this is how it is for life in general, not just your sex life… so I’ll leave that alone for now. Moving on. I’m super emotional today… can you guys tell? I feel feisty as fuck!

Rule #7: Check Your Emotions …at the door. It’s one of the hardest to maintain control of, forsure, the heart wants what it wants. And I won’t ever suggest that you ignore your emotions but rather understand that you have to be the one to protect your emotional needs, to care for them, and nurture them, because make no mistake… if you’re running a roster, you’re alone. And you’re not just single, you’re alone by choice. It’s almost like you’re making a statement when you fuck more than one guy at a time. You’re saying, “I choose to be alone.”

For me, at least it’s not the fear of commitment that keeps me running game, it’s got nothing to do with fear at all actually. It’s about pleasure if anything, but it hasn’t always been that way. Certainly had to do with fear of commitment and getting hurt in my younger years, but as soon as I became aware of my desires, as a whole, I understood my mind and my heart and my soul. I knew, I was always looking for Him… I just believe in that undying, unfaltering, unwavering, forever kinda love. And until I find it, I won’t commit. I don’t wanna lie to someone and tell them I love them and they’re my mate for life when I know it’s not true. So for me, there’s no point in being in a committed relationship if there’s no longevity involved. I’d rather be free and get those same comforts with whom ever I choose. But that’s just me, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way for you. The weirdest part for me, I still love occasionally, and even sometimes on a grand scale, but still there’s something missing… And I know, it’s better sometimes to love outside the box.

That’s me checking my emotions. When I love one of my boys, and I do love them sometimes… it’s because I respect them, and they’ve shown me loyalty, and I adore the way they treat me, and.. the list goes on. This differs for a lot of people, we all have our own version of love and affection and we definitely all have our own needs and desires. We connect when we find people that have similar desires and needs. That’s how we form bonds.

I’ve had some really incredible connections and I know I’ll have more. The only thing I can say about this rule, from my own experience is, be real about who you are, how you feel, and how you connect and/or love. It’s a feeling, and a very good one, if you are only willing to let it be. Sometimes it’s fleeting, and sometimes it lasts decades. But one thing is certain, if you never try to connect or you lie to yourself about how you feel, or you manipulate to get what you want without caring about the people you hurt, you will miss out on some pretty amazing moments in life, love, and sex.

These are my personal notes and experiences analyzed and researched and played with for over a decade. I really hope they’re valuable resources to help you get what you want, and everything you need to satisfy your sexual desires, and even bring your fantasies to life. No fear Ladies (& Gents, I suppose. Never really thought too much about male readers, but thank you for following along!) Remember: Be Unapologetic About Your Desires. (Rules for Dominating Life: Rule #1).

Comment below guys if you have any questions or thoughts about The Rules. I love to hear from you guys and hear all your stories and I’m happy to answer any questions about the ideas expressed here!

Until next time,
Go fuck yourself San Diego. <–means, a whale’s vagina (Incase you didn’t know, don’t worry, I got chu.)

E

We Love Cake

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” So they say. I duno who ‘they’ is, but I know they talk bullshit like this way too often.

Today I’m gunna tear this down in layman’s terms so we can get a deeper understanding of why you should aim for not just getting your cake and eating it too but having every kind of cake you can dream about and more importantly why you shouldn’t listen to anyone still stuck in the mentality that abundance is hard to come by. It’s a lie and it’ll do nothing but keep you stagnant. The great lie is ‘there isn’t enough for everyone’ and so all of life’s luxuries are meant only for a small group of people, selectively not your dumb, undeserving, ungrateful ass. Haaa. What a crock!

I grew up rebellious with my middle finger in the air to anyone who felt I wasn’t smart enough, or lucky enough, or basically wasn’t capable enough for a plethora of reasons, I’m sure, none of which having anything to do with me. My favourite of which being that I’m just a poor, helpless female who should be happy in finding a man to take care of her… grandparents, gotta love ‘em. No, seriously you gotta love ‘em or they’ll beat you with their damn slipper!

Annnyways, like I was saying, I have always been and will probably always be more than willing to stand aside from the crowd, no matter how lonely it can be. And trust me, for all of you new to unconventional thinking and breaking the barriers you’ve allowed around you for far too long, this is a lonely path to travel. I can promise you this though, the people that do make their way into your life will leave you breathless at times based on sheer understanding and bonds formed of similar souls. It’s magnificent, truly.

Those are the most precious moments, when you’ve decided to give in to all your dreams and starting making moves to live you life for yourself and you begin to see all your desires coming to fruition… you have people attracted to your life socially, personally and professionally. Together you build magnificently, and one day you just wake up and realize your cake tastes damnnn good. It doesn’t feel unconventional at all, instead everything you love and create feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. It’s invigorating and thrilling, it keeps you sharp and ever learning. It excites you like nothing you could ever have imagined and it challenges you in ways you never dreamed you could succeed with such joy and ease.

I don’t know about you, but if there’s even a chance of living all of the above, I’m going for it. Full steam ahead! Wtf else am I gunna do? Am I the only one out there bored as fuck? I need thrilling adventures in business and creative achievements in art, and fierce passion in my sex and love life all simultaneously to even scratch the smallest itch of fulfillment and satisfaction. I’m workin’ on this on the daily, are you? Am I the only one that feels this way?

Seize the moment. Don’t you wanna be unforgettable? Then be brave. Just a moment can change everything.

You’ve seen it, you’ve felt it for yourself. It’s easier for us to remember the tragic ones, the worst moments that changed our lives forever afterwards but there are incredible moments too and these are the moments we should remember and cherish.

The moments worth striving for are the moments that can change the game forever.

In a mere second your life can change forever and you can feel as if everything you ever desired was suddenly already yours, even if you haven’t gotten it yet. The question is, how do we achieve these euphoric moments consistently and continue them into the unknown?

It’s easier than you might think and we’re going to shred this one until it’s clear. No theories without evidence here. We’re going to test the theory until we create our greatest desires, together.

E

Bare Your Soul

The darkness in your will never go away, your desires will never give up their torment on your mind… the struggle and fear you hold from not believing you can achieve your greatest dreams and deepest desires is never going to stop.

You might as well just give in to them. Is it really such a terrifying thought? The path being laid out before you? It is ever molding and ever transforming to be the perfect path from here to your dreams, must you always be fighting against this? Do you enjoy feeling lack and constant defeat?

So, get it through your head then… everything you want is possible. The beauty is, you have to believe that without being able to see or know how it is possible. You must find comfort in the uncertainties of life. Until you do this, you will be without, you will struggle and you will live in constant misery and fear. Talk about needing faith!

If, however, you find your faith in magic and you do truly start to believe miracles are possible for you to create and experience you’ll find yourself surprised by how grateful you can feel for these ‘coincidences’ that continue to occur to you. You will begin to soar higher and higher. The possibilities are endless, and even the sky will expand to fit your limits.

And they have always been and will always be only and simply that… your limits.

Bare your soul to the universe and it will respond with magic like you’ve never seen before, this I promise you.

This is gunna be a big week with lots of juicy content and new topics of conversation. Dig in deep friends and don’t be shy to comment and start a conversation with me about anything I’ve written or anything you’re struggling with. I will probably understand you better than you can imagine. For such a young woman, I have quite a lot of experience in life. What have you got to lose?

Hope to hear from you all in time, but you’re welcome to quietly follow along until you’re comfortable to open up on this platform. I will be here, patiently waiting and always speaking to you through our chosen link.

 

E

Fear is Ruining Your Life

Power. Control. Dominance.
Such stigma attached to these words.

Love. Lust. Passion.
A stigma much the same for these.

What does it mean to you? Is it all one and the same, living within you, or are some good and other’s bad?

I’ve always believed in humanity, in human beings; in their hearts and in their vast souls. So I cannot believe our natural desire for power and control, for dominance could be something bad, or see it as a negative in any way. It’s an energy like any other, therefore I know there’s a way to use it for good, for pleasure, and on the path to greatness for all mankind. If you take a brief overview of history then you know how these desires can be used to hurt and for selfishness and greed. I don’t think looking at the past will help us achieve balance with such raw and primal energy, but if you let your mind wander, and use your imagination to free yourself from a harsh reality then you can see an entire world of love and lust, pleasure and pain, where these feelings have more than just merit, they have a need to be expressed. We all feel it, and though some are better at expressing and diffusing the energy than others, we can all relate to the feelings of wanting to express such “taboo” emotions.

What is it about desire that pulls us to something that we initially fear? It’s a false fear, of course, because it comes from within us and therefore isn’t evil for it doesn’t involve hurting other’s for our own gain. And in the juicy cases where it does, consent and a safe word can transform the heavy hand of karma into a world of shared pleasure, release, and a deep, deep bond formed of trust and loyalty.

Love, one of the many points on an infinite scale. Lust, one of the many points on an equally infinite scale. Separate scales, but there is a connection in this delicious world of pleasure and pain, dominance and submission. If you’re intrigued as I am, click the link and get Inside the Mind of a Dominant Male. You may be surprised at what you find.

A bond so deep, I believe we’re only scratching the surface in mainstream society of what truly is created in the space between pleasure and pain, between a dominant and a submissive.

The cold, hard truth of it is, you’ve been living a dom/sub life since you were a blip on the map. That’s how society works. And like any good relationship, there are choices. You have the choice where you live, what kind of living you make, and how you spend your days, but make no mistake, if you’re not creating your own path, then you are slave to someone. Do you even have a safe word in this relationship? Does the reality of life provide one? Is there a point where things get so painful and overwhelming that you can’t take anymore so you say one simple word and everything stops, the game stops?

Let me help you out here. Life doesn’t come with safe words, there’s no button you can push to make it all stop because you can’t take anymore and you’re about to break. That is life. Nobody ever said it would be any different, any more secure and safe so let’s not sugar coat it. It is harsh and painful at times, and if you’re a survivor then you already know your own strength, you know what you’re capable of creating when all the chips are down and your life lies in shambles all around you.

There’s something beautiful in the vicious rock bottoms that life has a way of serving up to us when we least expect it because what comes next is truly extraordinary. We survive. We come out of it stronger and more beautiful than ever because in that moment we believe in ourselves above all. It’s extraordinary… That first smile, that first laugh after the greatest pain of our lives and we know in that moment we believe in love and all things beautiful again, and even more importantly, that we never stopped believing.

Today I challenge you…

Explore yourself, your deepest desires, until you find something that surprises you… something that resonates with a part of you that you don’t fully understand. This is where you’ll find your extraordinary strengths. And make no mistake, you are extraordinary. This is also where I’ll come in and shake the very foundation of everything you’re so proud to say you are. Your potential is endless, limitless, but you must first understand all parts of yourself if you ever wanna make it a reality. Especially your dark side, your deepest desires. If you need a little nudge, here you go… this will open you up in a way that we can all find comfort in our desires. You needn’t be ashamed, or afraid but I will warn you, it’s real. Everything you feel, it’s real.

So, prepare yourself. You may find something within you that you never expected. You are not alone, for as long as I am here and other’s like me, you’ve nothing to fear.

A vibe… a feeling. Something deep within your soul that pulls at your heart strings, and clouds your mind when you try and suppress it. I am here, with you on this journey.

-E, theConductor

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #2…

‘Respect the boundaries.’

I battled over this one, so I’ll be curious to hear what anyone who wants to speak on this has to say.

On one hand it seems obvious that communication is key to this being successful. Don’t mean to get all technical, but follow along. So you think it’s the most important thing that both parties are on the same page about being able to sleep with other people, as long as you communicate any emotions that get involved, and aren’t afraid to speak to each other about it, it’ll work…? That’s what you tell yourself when you’re simply fucking someone and you both genuinely don’t mind the other person sleeping with whoever they want as long as they’re there when you want them… if they keep you satisfied when you need them, then you have nothing to complain about, yes?

Ahhh, and some will say, ‘but we’re not that predictable when it comes to emotional connections and attachments, there are too many things to factor into it and eventually you just hit a wall and call it fate.’ Ha! I can tell you one very predictable trait in every human being on this planet though, territorial jealousy. And it’s the reason that the Rules Of Running A Roster: Rule #2 is ‘Respect The Boundaries’

Here’s the thing, you’ll never be able to predict when a sexual relationship on any level will completely implode from some emotional issue. You can be married 10 years without a care in the world to find out they never loved you and blah blah… so the story goes. So what are you gunna do until you find undying love, just stop having sex, stop connecting with people for pleasure and experience and energy for fear of getting hurt, for fear of hurting someone else? No, no… you must live. But consider the rules, at the very least. We all want this, let’s not deny this anymore. It kills me when I hurt someone, even if it’s someone I don’t really care about at all, over fear that asking for what I want might find me rejected? No, I never want another human being hurting because of me and my fears. I choose honesty, boundaries, communication, safe words, and safe sex.

‘Don’t sleep where you eat’ has been a favourite saying of mine for many reasons, but today it’s for one purpose, you cannot fuck anyone you work with unless you’re willing to give up your job for them at the drop of a hat. Ya, real talk. Taste that one for a second, let it really sink in.

Now, don’t get me wrong, you can date and find love, and in my opinion, even that is a shit idea, but hey I always factor in the need the universe has for exceptions. There’s always an exception, just don’t get your hopes up, cuz you’re not it. (I say this with all the love in my heart, because if in any situation this life can find you in, if I’m wrong, you won’t need my words to make the difference, you’ll just know.) Moving on…

You don’t want the anxiety if things don’t work out and you still have to go in to work 5 days a week, the place where you make your living, and takes up a very important part of your life, your time. Trust me, it’s not worth the drama. And if you’re a creature of drama, please, either pay attention or go away. This is a real talk only space. Moving onnn… Ok, so we’ve established a sub-rule, if you will, no sleeping with people you work with, the risk is too high. Quick one here: The Bar Industry… need I go on? (Even as a bartender it’s tricky, but at least if all goes to shit we can just move to another spot. Bartender’s are notoriously flaky anyways, chalk it up to a ‘place that didn’t click,’ and then DON’T FUCK YOUR MANAGER AT YOUR NEXT JOB! Ha!) Moving onnn.

You can’t go and fuck someone’s friend either, even if it’s not a best friend, just some guy he knows, don’t do it girl, just don’t. You gotta be classy even if you’re fucking 5 guys on a consistent basis. And yes, you can do this and still be a classy woman, with a good heart, and honest soul. Blow me if you don’t like it. I don’t have time to justify and make you look stupid right now, but I will soon… stay tuned.

You have to make sure your guys aren’t ever going to meet, ever. Step One to: No Drama Sex. Next thing is more complicated, you DO have to be honest about the fact he isn’t the only one. To a woman it might be easy to see that she isn’t the only one, but trust me, guys don’t see it that way. Give him the choice, from the beginning, tell him he can walk at any time, no hard feelings. I mean, be sweeter than that about it if you’re really into him, for sure. I’m just saying, don’t sugar coat it, and don’t go around the point, have some dignity and tell him straight up how you feel and what you’re hoping for from him. I tell you this now, because if there’s any chance for this to work… if you’re anything to him, he’ll stay. AND if you’re anything like me you pick ‘em with too much ego and he’s gunna snap first. And fair enough, let him.

It’ll go something like this… He’ll freak and then he’ll tell you he wants to be exclusive, and what he probably means is, you can be exclusive and he’s still gunna fuck anyone he wants. Which is funny, cuz that’s usually what I’m hoping for, it’s just I could never lie and say I wasn’t fucking another guy if I was… Hmm, funny thing about that honesty… it takes balls. And there’s nothing more powerful than a female with more balls than the average man.

He’ll walk.

I almost guarantee it. Haaa… not that fun at the time, but trust me on this one, it’s the right thing to do. Give him 2 weeks, and if he doesn’t come around, then he wasn’t that into you. Move on. But I promise you all this, if he does come back and he’s into it cuz he doesn’t care he just wants you, you’re about to have the best sex you’ve ever had…

There’s something so sweet about raw sex, about that carnal feeling when you say ‘fuck it’ and just fuck someone cuz you really want to. Wow, what a feeling. How can we call that shallow, meaningless sex? It may not be love, it may not even be friendship, but wow… it’s something…

Check RULE #3: ‘Know Your Priorities’

E

What have you really got to lose?

Why do we find it so difficult to ask for what we want?

Is it really so hard to believe that the person sitting across from you could want the same thing?

Would it be so terrible if they said, no? Think of what you’ll go through playing the game and trying to decipher their intentions when one simple question could give you the answer. Time is precious baby, don’t ever forget that. So swallow your pride, or your fear, or whatever it is that’s holding you back from getting what you want… swallow.

Fuck what’s polite, fuck what’s proper and appropriate. Speak your mind, unapologetically. Speak from your heart, even if the question is something as heartless as, ‘Wanna fuck?’

Do you really understand how there’s a truth in that question and it’s more respectful then playing a game to get what you want? You’re giving someone a choice when you’re straight up like that, which shows respect for their opinion, and their feelings. You don’t wanna’ hurt, you just wanna’ taste. Ooo… that was good, wasn’t it?

Is that really such a terrible thing to want something from someone?

Now, granted this doesn’t only pertain to sexuality, this is an important concept to live by in every aspect of our lives. You only live once, and no one tells you how long your life is going to be, so make sure when you want something you spend all the energy you’re willing to give on it, whether it’s a job, a career, a partner, or even a dream… you must try for it, fight for it, and be willing to let it go if it isn’t meant for you at this time.

Conventional ways of achieving your dreams, and living your day to day life are a thing of the past. It’s not all about saving face and polite society as a closed group anymore. You make your own groups, you create your own life, you mustn’t be afraid of what you desire. You have to be willing to take it, to create your own path to it. Either that, or be willing to watch it slip through your fingers.

See, I’m the type of person that if I want something I’m not afraid to go for it. I’m not afraid to say it, I’m not afraid to act like I want it, and I’m certainly not afraid to make moves like it will be mine if I desire it. Follow me on this journey to getting what we truly desire.

If life is short, what have you really got to lose?

E

Weekend Vibes: Can you imagine?

I’m opening the Vault yet again to tell you another Secret about what I do to feel sexy and satisfied in my day to day life.

When it comes to guys and dating we usually take for granted what they offer because of what we expect. Expectations aren’t all bad, they allow you to understand what you want and need to be satisfied and content. You can use your awareness of what you desire to improve your sex and love life if you stay honest with yourself throughout the experience and learn to fantasize, truly and deeply. He may not be the best you’ve ever had, or the best you’ll ever have but he can be anything you like in your fantasies and if you learn to play this game well, it will change your life.

When we hook up with the wrong guy over and over again, even though we know there’s better out there, our friends might think we’re crazy or like the abuse, and eventually we turn into crazy demanding bitches, we’re not helping the cause of finding the right man for us, we’re actually just playing a very simple game like amateurs. Usually this fantasy gets us nowhere in the real world because our version of the relationship lives in our minds, meaning it’s just not a reality and we allow our expectations of him and our fantasies of him to mash up. This is a mistake.

This technique is often referred to as ‘the pedestal.’ We put a guy on a pedestal and allow him to treat us with less respect than we (and our friends) know we deserve. If you’re unsure as to why you do this, please allow me to explain from my own personal experience.

The affair goes something like this, you meet him, he’s sexy and confident as he approaches you to see if he can get some one on one time. You say yes of course, and make plans to go for drinks or dinner (or to the carnival, wherever) and when you finally get him one on one, he’s perfect. He’s sweet and funny, and has interesting things to say about life or things you two have in common. (Quick note here: get as much info about him outta that first date as you can, it might be the only real conversation you two have, even if he is just trying to make himself seem better than he actually is). You guys hook up after a date or two and wow, that first time he really does a number on you. He’s got stamina and skill and he pulls out all the stops. There’s multiple positions, oral throughout and just a bit of kinky fun with biting and ass slapping, maybe a little squeeze around your throat and if you’re lucky, multiple orgasms as well. Based on this first experience your mind runs wild with fantasies for probably about a week. By week 2 you’re completely thrown by this guy and already have a list of expectations on how you want to be treated and how you want him to act towards you. Another mistake.

What you don’t know and should is that he’s about to change. You can always tell what a man wants from you by how he chooses to play out the day after your first time hooking up, and the week that follows. Most guys will ask how you’re doing, how the experience was for you, they might even be so brash as to ask how much you liked that dick and if you’d ever sleep with him again. And be thankful if he does, because it’s the easiest answer you’re ever gunna get about him being into the sex and probably nothing more, not even chillin’. And even more importantly, it’s probably not going to be as good the next time you guys hook up, if you decide to hook up with him again. This is key to the conclusion of what he’s looking for. If the second time you guys hook up he’s half as good, then you know it was a game of conquest for him, not necessarily a bad thing but you need to be aware of it if you want to remain content with the relationship. He’s probably willing to keep you around as a hook up, and you can keep the messaging and calling as one sided (him messaging you or initiating conversation) to see how often he’s interested in seeing you. Again, awareness and clarity are the name of the game in reality.

I can and will break down how to play this cat and mouse game of power to get what you want outta him and for yourself, but another time in another category. This category is about you feeling sexy and satisfied and this post is about fantasies and how visualizing the ideal you want from someone can change your sex life forever.

Before you start thinking all the craziness about where this is going and what he’s actually thinking and all that shit, let yourself enjoy the fantasy of that first night. You’ll have it with you forever and you should use it to it’s full potential, regardless of what happens between you and the actual guy, from here on out you have a fantasy version of him. Use it.

In your fantasies, he can be everything you want him to be, and everything you NEED him to be, and this is where the real evolution comes into the game. Allow yourself to fantasize about what he means to you, how you see your relationship with him if you could have him anyway you want him, the best version of him. Clarity is everything in real life, but in fantasy you can really say ‘fuck the box’.

When you come back to earth after that first deep and dark fantasy and have achieved at least 3 orgasms to clear your mind of your sexual desires, you can ask yourself if you think he’s capable of being that man. This is a very important part of the exercise. If you think there’s potential for him to treat you the way you need him to treat you then you can go forward in the reality of the game and see how he reacts to your desires. You can also decide, if he wants something that’s less than you need from him, if you’re willing to continue with the game he has decided to play. You remove the power from any other players in the game when you remain aware of your own needs. That’s the ultimate achievement of fantasizing, you get to choose if you want to continue based on how you’d like to be treated, the orgasms are the bonus prizes of a crucial outcome of the game, your happiness.

You get very clear about what you’re looking for. And no matter what a guy wants out of his sex life, you need to understand what you want out of yours first. Neither of you has reasons that are more important than the other, they may be different, but both are relevant. Everyone deserves to get what they desire, so you can’t be mad at him if he doesn’t want the same thing from you as you want from him, especially if you didn’t establish those boundaries before sleeping together. And vice versa. You can’t just decide that someone should want the same thing as you because you said so, life doesn’t work that way and you may end up hurting more than just yourself, you could hurt him too. Don’t be a crazy bitch with no common sense, step your game up.

If you want something you can’t have, you fantasize. Let it be your favourite fantasy and let the reality of it go. This goes both ways. Men and women need to accept the differences in themselves and others, not just in sex and dating but in everything in this world. If someone isn’t hurting you or others, then let it go if they don’t desire the same things as you, it’s not your decision to make. You can’ t control someone else, no matter how much power you think you deserve. (Another quick note: if power is a majour desire of yours, whether it’s giving it up or controlling it, I will be digging deep into the world of BDSM and the games of power played in the next few months in my ‘The Art of Seduction’ segment posted Wednesdays. If this intrigues you, click that Follow Button.)

Fantasies are a great way to achieve balance in your sex and love life and live without feeling loss or like you weren’t good enough. Visualize your desires, take yourself to the moment you seek, and be fully submersed in it. It can be a specific guy, in a specific place, in a specific way… and let me tell you, when you have good visuals from a previous experience with him, what you can do with those mental images are endlllllless. Let him be your fantasy and let any ill will towards him go.

Your dating life will improve because you won’t allow someone to treat you worse than you fantasize them treating you. If you do allow disrespect, it won’t feel good and you won’t as easily be able to deny the reality of the situation. Your reality and your fantasy will naturally come together and you’ll attract people that help you live your fantasies in reality.

Can you imagine?

E

2015: Pampered Queen

Pamper yourself.

Whether you go to the salon and get your hair done, or the nail bar to get your nails done, or the spa for a massage and body wrap, it is so important that you designate chunks of time every week just for you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much it lifts your spirits and the extra energy it gives you so you can give more back to the people around you that you love. You will feel sexier and that energy is extremely powerful.

There’s something in the saying ‘give to yourself first’ that has resonated with me recently. I have always been a giver in my personal life, allowing people at times to suck me dry and leave me scrounging for enough emotional and physical energy to get through a single day, but once I became aware of my own energy, of my own body and it’s needs, I learned to take those minutes, hours, and sometimes entire days out for myself to ‘recharge.’ Mentally cleansing is something we should be practising on a day to day basis, but what about our physical bodies? Should not just as much care be put into them as well?

When you go to a salon you walk in and they take your coat, ask if you’d like something to drink and lead you to a comfortable place to sit with magazines and the like to wait for you stylist to greet you. You may not realize that something has changed in your surroundings and therefore your energy, but it has. You are now in an environment where people are there solely to take care of you, as you are doing for yourself, and it’s this selfless act of the people around you that makes all the difference. You have decided to call up a great salon instead of looking for the cheapest deal because you want the best for your hair and yourself and when you arrive for your appointment everyone is there to take care of you. They’re supporting your choice to pamper yourself. And this is extremely powerful for your energy. We should never downplay the impact that others have in our ives. Whether you like it or not, you cannot do it all alone. You need companionship and support, even if you’re paying for it.

A spa is the same, it’s about de-stressing and relaxation. Again, there are people designated to support and care for you as soon as you walk in the door. I can barely begin to explain how much this can effect your life and over-all health. Your energy and mentality will be balanced and brought back to neutral, you may possibly even delve into the realm of pleasure if you’re really aware of how much you’re enjoying the experience.

Your awareness plays a big role in your overall enjoyment and therefore your ability to allow these things to balance your life.

In a world as fast-paced and extreme as ours, it’s important to keep your balance, and the easiest way to do this, if you have no practise, is to pamper yourself. Go get your nails done, and your hair done. Go to a spa and have a massage or if they offer it, go for a float. All these things will keep you centred, balanced and sexy as fuuuck so you can take on the world and achieve your deepest desires and greatest dreams!

Now, I realize that some of you may not have the funds to divulge in such pleasure as going to the spa and the salon and the nail bar all in one month, so prioritize. See which one or two of these are the most important and functional in your life and make them part of your routine. As for the other things, you can always find ways to create an environment for yourself that will allow you to calm and balance your energy.

Bubble baths at home should never be under-valued. They’re great if you find a wonderful bubble bath with some aroma therapy (again my favourite is from Bath & Body Works), light a few candles, even bring in a glass of wine and just like that you’re transported anywhere you can imagine in this beautiful world of ours. Allow your mind to follow your body into relaxation.

Mani’s at home. I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl, so I’m quite good at it. If you enjoy painting and sculpting your nails, that’s an easy way to save money and still pamper yourself. Designate a night every week or two and get a good movie going, and pamper away! Great when you invite a girlfriend over and do it together.

There’s endless ways to pamper yourself and it really all depends on what you like and what you LOVE. Take the time to ask yourself what you love and let others help you in taking care of yourself. And start now. What can you easily implement into your life right now to take you to the status of Pampered Queen?