Weekend Vibes: Test The Theory

There’s nothing more attractive and sexy than a woman who isn’t afraid to be unapologetically herself. And I’m not talking about swearing like a trucker and having no filter no matter who you’re speaking to. I do believe there’s a time and a place for everything, but I’m talking here about baring your soul to the people around you for the sake of being uniquely yourself and inspiring others to feel comfortable enough to do the same. You can pave the way if you’re unapologetic about who you are and you don’t let the people around you cast their gloomy shadow’s demeanour on your vibrant soul’s.

I have always had a gift for picking up on people’s internal dialogue, on their body language, on how they move and why they do what they do. Perception was something I became aware of at a very young age. I noticed how people perceived me, my movements and how it affected them, both internally and externally and how they perceived others. I learned to listen to and understand my own internal thoughts and feelings, which only furthered my understanding of people’s internal dialogue, and from this I understood deeply human desire, rebellion, and how much misery loves company.

As an effective byproduct, today I am very good at manipulating people’s perception of me which I use more often than not to lift the energy of a group and it is a quite profitable trait in many industries. It’s all a game of illusions, anyone who wears make-up and knows how to dress their specific body type knows this game better than they might initially realize. It’s one and the same when it comes to how people view you and their deep internal thoughts and feelings about you. That’s why I talk so much about being aware of how you carry yourself. People interpret your body language subconsciously without any effort, it’s a mixing of energies on a foundational level, everybody does it and it’s mostly unavoidable, unless you’re trained not to trust a person’s exterior or to appear ‘invisible’ in a public space. (Don’t worry! That will come later.)

You don’t have to pay any attention to the stigmas attached to manipulation. There are a lot of shitty people out there who aren’t trying to make the world a better place, so anyone’s else’s definition of manipulation is irrelevant in this conversation. You simply need to understand that you can use any of the gifts or skills that you have for the betterment of humanity if you so choose it, manipulation being one of them. We’re not the ones who are going to be part of a stereotypical group so brush off any prior understandings of taboo things like manipulation, dominance, or ego. I can teach you to observe people’s perceptions and biases and therefore be able to manipulate the way you’re perceived so you can get what you desire. Simple as that. Let me simplify for a second so you really know what I’m saying to you, what I’m offering to you. (For free. Many will charge a whack of cash to teach you how to speak in public, or dominate a room in a board meeting, ‘How To: Kill an interview and get the job you always wanted!’ but to me these are key skills to any success in life and I’d like to give them to you free of charge because I actually wanna see you succeed. I love you simply because we’re the same species, simple as that. I don’t need people to pay me for this service, I just hope it helps you get what you want and need. <3)

Think about when you go to a job interview, and you really want the job so you’re ridiculously nervous. You may be presenting a lack of confidence or even a lack people skills from your interviewer’s point of view and not because these things are necessarily true, you could have excellent people skills but right there in that moment you’re being perceived otherwise and it could cost you that job. Maybe you don’t just want this job, maybe you need it, so the pressure’s on. You’re sweating, internally you’re a fuckin’ mess, and afterwards you drive home knowing you didn’t do your best and if only you weren’t so damn anxious and wracked with nerves the job would’ve been yours. You know you could do it in your sleep!

It’s happened to the best of us, believe me but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be perceived however you like. The most seemingly hopeless cases can learn to come across as cool, calm and collected a 007 himself. In moments like these it’s easier to accomplish than you might think, regardless of your lack of social skills or experience, or who else has applied for the job or how much of a nervous wreck you are internally, or a million other possibilities.

If you know how to read someone’s over all demeanour then you’re way ahead of the game with an Ace up your sleeve and three more in your back pocket and the job is basically already yours. This can be applied to anything in your life, any dream, any fantasy. Only one disclaimer here: It has to be genuine, it has to be what you truly want, otherwise you’ll just continue around in circles, lying to yourself and attracting the hard learned lessons over and over again as the Universe enjoys the lashing like a possessive dominant with no intention of going easy on you. And like any Great Dom, it knows what you can and cannot handle, so NO FEAR! But if you’re like me at this point, you’re sick of learning the hard way and wanna skip the drama and move right along to the lesson.

If you heed the lessons, and make good sense of the deeper meaning here any job is yours, anything you can imagine, is yours. Isn’t that an incredible thought? You’ll know exactly what the person with the ability to hire you is looking for and if it suits you, you can give it to them with no hesitations or awkward/self conscious thoughts and feelings. Jobs are crucial stepping stones to building the empires we were born to create. Remember that when you are willingly to become the submissive to ones higher in command than you and let it make you hungry, in silence. Sometimes, it’s the easiest path to what you desire.

If you are going to spend even a moment of your waking life a slave, take pride in it and be the best damn slave they ever saw in whatever your chosen field is. Make sure when you move to be their equals they remember how proud you were of your position, and politely and professionally let them know, that time has now passed. They can accept it, or drown in their own limitations. The choice is theirs, let them make it.

You will know that if you want something, you can achieve it and so your air of confidence will work wonders on people’s perception of you. Most jobs aren’t about how much experience you have, or if the guy going for the job ahead of you has a degree and you don’t even have a diploma. Most companies are looking for one simple thing, someone to do the job, to accomplish the tasks, and to make the workload easier for everyone else. Especially the people above them. Become the problem solver at any company and the top is only the starting place for you and your achievements.

See, common sense isn’t that common because people always do the ‘what if’ thing and that only adds to the downward spiral of self doubt and fear of ‘failure’. Granted, realizing all the pros and cons when making any moves in business are crucial to the over all success of the company, but you cannot let the fear of conventional thoughts and ideas hold you back when making moves. It doesn’t always matter what someone else has done or is doing in the same field. You become vastly significant and valuable when you change the game in almost any industry. And if you live like that, if you live with no confinements, you’ll always be one step ahead. You’ll leave your ‘competition’ in the dust, laughing at your own craziness and lack of certainty. When you take risks it’s not about making big, stupid decisions. It’s about doing something no one has done before, or no one thought was possible and making it work for you for the success of the industry as a whole. You have to think it through.

If you’re unique in who you are and what you think, if you give into that, you’ll achieve things that no one else can. Is it really so hard to believe that you’re capable of things that no one else on the planet is?

Be unapologetically yourself wherever you go and whatever you do to find out for sure. You can test your own theories here, you’re not a child anymore. No need to take my word for it, give it a go and see how high you can soar in your own uncertainties. The sky isn’t the limit anymore, the universe is… and a far as we know, it could be limitless.

In our lifetime, I wanna test that theory.

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #7…

Check your emotions  …at the door.

You hear me? …at the door. No, I’m being serious. This is not a game of emotions. If it were then it wouldn’t be a fuckin Roster. It’d be someone you want to be exclusive with, or were at least considering it. Which means you should re-evaluate your objectives, your priorities, and your desires to find better clarity. And this goes back to Rule #1: Honesty. You have to be honest with yourself first, and if you’re catching feelings for someone you should think seriously about how much you care for them, and if you come to the conclusion that it’s more than just sex and friendship, if you really want them for your own, if you want to grow and build with them, then make the moves to see if it’s something they want as well. And still, you have to check your emotions at the door. Here’s the simple reason why:

You got into this with an understanding at the very least, and an agreement at the most of simple, no strings attached sex. So if you want to change that understanding because it’s evolved for you, you have to be honest and upfront about that. This isn’t one of those, ‘oh we don’t have to talk about it’ things, that’s child’s play. How many times do I have to tell you to Step Your Game Up?! You can’t just start acting differently and hope everything works out, then you’re emotionally vulnerable to them reacting apart from how you expect them to react. Cut the shit and check your emotions at the door. Have enough respect for them to sit down and talk to them as a fellow adult about what you want.

If you don’t want it to get awkward as you try and maneuver your way into a guy’s life, try just telling him straight up that you want more, or whatever you want. Just ask for it! Best case scenario, he says yes and you find out if it’s what you really want. Worst case scenario, he says no and then really all you have to do is make the decision if you want him like you have him, or if you can’t be with him at all anymore because it causes you emotional hardship. Again, do you see how you maintain control of your emotions at all times and the most crucial thing is to keep the power in fulfilling your own happiness?

This isn’t rocket science guys, and it isn’t the kind of game where you can give up the control of your emotions to someone. Like I hinted before, if it is that kind of game then you’re playing with your potential King, tread carefully… and we’ll be getting to that soon enough in the Conclusion of The Rules Pt.1 & Pt.2, where I’m gunna break down the concepts of running a roster on a psychological level, the why’s behind it and how to lay the rules out so they fit to your particular set of desires. I’ll be outsourcing and talking to some of my friends and acquaintances that I know play this game magnificently. I’ll be laying it bare for you guys to see what kind of light they can shed on the Rules. This can’t just be from my point of view or it won’t be achieving it’s maximum potential, so I’m bringing in some sly experts at running rosters. From fellow bartenders to 9-5ers who never followed the American Dream and remain free from dictatorship and live on their own terms. It’s gunna be a deliciously juicy couple of weeks in The Art Of Seduction guys, jus sayin. (Ya might wanna hit that follow button. I’ll wait here.)

Enough self promotion for now, let’s get back to it. I hate to make it seem so manipulative, but only because the word and the ideas behind this tactic hold such stigma, otherwise I’m all for it, but I suppose experience and history must do their part in ‘educating’ us. (PS. manipulation at it’s finest). In my mind it all comes down to integrity, where does the heart lie or the motive start, but this is how it is for life in general, not just your sex life… so I’ll leave that alone for now. Moving on. I’m super emotional today… can you guys tell? I feel feisty as fuck!

Rule #7: Check Your Emotions …at the door. It’s one of the hardest to maintain control of, forsure, the heart wants what it wants. And I won’t ever suggest that you ignore your emotions but rather understand that you have to be the one to protect your emotional needs, to care for them, and nurture them, because make no mistake… if you’re running a roster, you’re alone. And you’re not just single, you’re alone by choice. It’s almost like you’re making a statement when you fuck more than one guy at a time. You’re saying, “I choose to be alone.”

For me, at least it’s not the fear of commitment that keeps me running game, it’s got nothing to do with fear at all actually. It’s about pleasure if anything, but it hasn’t always been that way. Certainly had to do with fear of commitment and getting hurt in my younger years, but as soon as I became aware of my desires, as a whole, I understood my mind and my heart and my soul. I knew, I was always looking for Him… I just believe in that undying, unfaltering, unwavering, forever kinda love. And until I find it, I won’t commit. I don’t wanna lie to someone and tell them I love them and they’re my mate for life when I know it’s not true. So for me, there’s no point in being in a committed relationship if there’s no longevity involved. I’d rather be free and get those same comforts with whom ever I choose. But that’s just me, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way for you. The weirdest part for me, I still love occasionally, and even sometimes on a grand scale, but still there’s something missing… And I know, it’s better sometimes to love outside the box.

That’s me checking my emotions. When I love one of my boys, and I do love them sometimes… it’s because I respect them, and they’ve shown me loyalty, and I adore the way they treat me, and.. the list goes on. This differs for a lot of people, we all have our own version of love and affection and we definitely all have our own needs and desires. We connect when we find people that have similar desires and needs. That’s how we form bonds.

I’ve had some really incredible connections and I know I’ll have more. The only thing I can say about this rule, from my own experience is, be real about who you are, how you feel, and how you connect and/or love. It’s a feeling, and a very good one, if you are only willing to let it be. Sometimes it’s fleeting, and sometimes it lasts decades. But one thing is certain, if you never try to connect or you lie to yourself about how you feel, or you manipulate to get what you want without caring about the people you hurt, you will miss out on some pretty amazing moments in life, love, and sex.

These are my personal notes and experiences analyzed and researched and played with for over a decade. I really hope they’re valuable resources to help you get what you want, and everything you need to satisfy your sexual desires, and even bring your fantasies to life. No fear Ladies (& Gents, I suppose. Never really thought too much about male readers, but thank you for following along!) Remember: Be Unapologetic About Your Desires. (Rules for Dominating Life: Rule #1).

Comment below guys if you have any questions or thoughts about The Rules. I love to hear from you guys and hear all your stories and I’m happy to answer any questions about the ideas expressed here!

Until next time,
Go fuck yourself San Diego. <–means, a whale’s vagina (Incase you didn’t know, don’t worry, I got chu.)

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #6…

‘Be unapologetic about your desires.’

Ok I’ma get right into it… dig in y’all this is gunna be a good one.

I was recently asked why I run a roster, a great question and an honest one too, so it really got me thinking about the concept. Not necessarily for myself but in a general sense for the benefit of others because I realize that some people might assume there’s something missing in my life and my intentions for sleeping with more than one guy at a time on the regular comes from some deep-rooted insecurity, lack of affection, or some other life trauma that stuck with me and caused me to shy away from commitments or serious relationships… But the truth is much simpler than that analysis of the human consciousness, so I’m going to start there.

Let me tell you a story that I think will break it down for you a bit before I tell you my personal reasons for running a roster because I think we can all relate to the reasoning behind my ‘Roster Games & Rules’. This is going to be the prelude to The Conclusion of The Rules, coming very soon in The Art Of Seduction category of this blog, posted Wednesday’s, where we thoroughly examine and observe basic human desire when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

This is a peek into the consciousness if you’re the type that really analyzes human behaviour and the why’s behind people’s actions (like me).

When I was young I was always very interested in sexuality, and sexual desire, and the concept of sexiness. I felt sexual desire in me at a very young age, and being raised in an open and free loving family I never shied away from these feelings. I am Canadian born and raised with no religion chosen for me, that’s what I mean when I say I’m from an open and free loving family. I have freedoms that maybe you don’t, or didn’t and I recognize that I am very blessed to have a choice in these matters, that’s half the reason I’m here, but more on that later. (Quick note: Please don’t be afraid to comment below if you want to speak on anything I’ve written about. I am here.)

Back to it… I gave into my sexual appetite and always, for as long as I can remember, have played with myself. I reached orgasm for the first time when I was 8 or 9 maybe earlier. By the time I was in my early teens, 13, I craved orgasms and could achieve them quickly. My sexual appetite grew and I started exploring my body and all the sensations I could create, from fantasizing and deep visual meditations of desire, to physical masturbation and reaching orgasm. I knew long before anyone told me that females could have more than one kind of orgasm and I knew my body well enough to play with the variety of orgasms I could achieve.

When I was 16 I was desperate to have sex, although I didn’t have anyone around me I could picture myself sleeping with, until I moved to another town. I remember when my mom asked me which high school I wanted to go to in said new town, as I had an option between two. I knew nothing about either of the school and I thought, how am I ever going to decide?! And then it hit me, whichever school I chose was going to have the first boy I’d ever sleep with (more than likely). So I found out which school had the best football team, and the rest is history.

Think what you will of that mentality, but it’s how I made my decision. It wasn’t the most important decision I made about my virginity, trust me, but you know me… I’m gunna tell you what was!

When I started really thinking about sex, and love, and life, and relationships, I knew I didn’t want to give my virginity to someone I was going to be in a relationship with, or even someone I was going to have emotional attachment to. Hear me out. This idea started a year or so prior I’d say. I’d never had a boyfriend, I’d hardly done more than kissed a boy, and I wanted the first guy I ever slept with to be someone I could have great sex with for years, with real longevity. I had separated the two things without even realizing I’d done it. Emotions and Sex became two different sets of desires.

It suddenly seemed too complicated to try and find love as well as great sex. Even as naive as I was about sex and love, I knew at that age it didn’t seem realistic to achieve both.

I separated sex and love/emotions at a very young age, maybe subconsciously, I don’t know it was a long time ago but by the time I was ready to have sex I knew I wasn’t ready to be in a loving, committed relationship. So right then and there I decided the only thing I wanted from my first sexual partner was someone I could have great sex with forever, or at least until one of us was married or with children, or whatever really. Simple, exciting, raw sex. I wanted to be able to fuck for a long time without any need for a committed relationship and all the complicated feelings and emotions that came with it. Friendship would be the ultimate goal if emotions got involved after a few years.

I was all sensation and raging hormones, like anyone at that age. My body was changing, I was experiencing so many new feelings and complicated emotions, there was no way I was gunna look for someone to fill that void and bring me balance. I knew emotionally, I had to work on myself, for myself, by myself. But physically, no no no. No more solo ventures. I was ready to experience another. And so I did. I found him, and I fucked him… for years… and years. Success!

I can’t say it worked out exactly as I hoped, because there were some serious complications regardless of my lack of emotional attachment and strategic ways of thinking, obviously, I suppose. Emotions and sex kind of go hand in hand, but I learned to put my feelings aside, knowing (in this case) that they weren’t authentically aimed at the person I was projecting them towards. More so, they were ever present in my romanticisms and I had no intention of passing off that part of me to just anyone.

Of course I felt emotions towards my first. Of course there were some rocky moments when one of us was sleeping with another person that was in the same school, or same social circle (See Rule #2: Respect The Boundaries), and we learned the hard way to be more careful if we really cared about each other’s feelings, which we did because neither of us was willing to give the other up. It’s not a simple choice when you’re in it. Of course there’s more to it than I could ever describe in one post, but if you can put it all together in your mind you can understand the simplicity of something so complicated. I chose to do what I wanted, when I wanted and started laying out the groundwork (or the rules) to do my best to prevent people from getting hurt, including myself.

Over the last two years of high school we pretty much worked out all the kinks (at least in this relationship or lack there of) and to this day we still fuck. It’s been over a decade and we still desire each other, and more importantly we still don’t feel the need to be ‘more serious’ about our relationship. I can’t say I have no love for him at all, that would be a bold faced lie. Through all the years of lust a strong bond has formed, and if such respect and loyalty isn’t a piece of love then I’m a very confused young woman. The simple fact is, he and I have never been on a traditional date, we’ve never worried over ‘taking the next step’ in our relationship, and most importantly, we’ve put behind us the auto response of lies when there’s something difficult to discuss. We know each other, and we care about each other, and behind closed doors we don’t keep secrets, we are the secret. There is a level there no one else can touch. A floor in the condo of life that remains ours alone.

Do you believe some people are good for each other in some ways but never meant to be together? Is that really such a difficult concept to understand and is it so vile and repulsive that it’s not even worth entertaining that type of connection between man and woman, boy and girl, etc.? We as women are just as raw and primal as any man. We’re all beautifully human, so why not play with all our desires? Why hold back? Morally, draw your lines and move forward, living your life and learning your lessons and boundaries at the peak of your ability.

If I had never given in to my desire to be physical with this guy because I knew we’d never have a long term ‘relationship’, I might never have experienced all that pleasure and joy, might never have formed that lifelong bond. I might never have learned that I can sleep with more than just him and still respect him and even have loyalty and love for him, with absolutely no desire to be committed to him. Damn, we might never have learned how well our little arrangement really worked out for us both, how much we enjoyed it. I would have missed out on a lot of great moments and personally I wouldn’t go back and change it. I found a new level of connection to another at a young age, and it was everything I thought it could be and much, much more.

I’m one of the few women I know that can honestly say I don’t regret my first sexual experience or partner. I planned it well, I knew what I wanted, and most importantly I was realistic about my expectations. (See Rule #4: Check Your Expectations)

What are the chances that the first person you sleep with at the age of 16 or 18, or whatever age is going to be the only person you’ll ever commit too, the only person you’ll ever sleep with, and the only person you’ll ever love? Seriously though…?

You can shut down all desires for other people and commit to one person from the start, sure. I believe that 100% because human willpower is extraordinary, but is that really what you want, or is that just what you think you should want? If you want that, that one commitment from the get go then all the power to you. I think a good balance always exists in human nature, so my views aren’t going to be relevant to everyone, I just think it’s relevant and crucial information for the majourity. I wish more people were willing to openly converse, in depth and detail, about their own personal human desires and sexual appetites, but I guess I wouldn’t be here writing to you about it if that were the case, and you wouldn’t be here devouring the information like you are either. So I can be thankful for the lifetime of experiences that has brought me to you and you to me, to explain and possibly give you someone to relate too so you don’t have to feel alone.

I never had that, I don’t think anyone should have to go through such intense emotions and feelings alone. It’s hard to be the outsider or to feel like no one understands you when something feels so natural to you, but I’m here, being awesome and living my fuckin’ dreams. You should too, whatever your dreams are, wherever they take you. I knew from the beginning I would want more… that I would want it all, to connect, to love, to desire, to taste more than one in this short life, without a doubt.

So why do I run a roster?

Well, like I’ve stated before, I think we’re all looking for that one person we can love and spend the rest of our lives with… but while we wait, why not live our lives in the moment and experience some truly deep and sensual connections, even if we don’t want to be with these lovers forever or sometimes even a year. Even if you don’t want to love them, even if you don’t have any emotion towards them at all you can still desire a taste, can’t you? If they’re just as intrigued of course. (See Rule #5: Patience is your only choice).

Haven’t you ever been physically attracted to someone that you don’t really care for as a person? Maybe their personality just isn’t your thing but the desire to be physical with them is grand, more than just good looks, but genuine physical, electric chemistry. Mmm, just thinkin’ about it gets me excited.

Here’s how I look at it:

Lust has a scale. You can feel all different levels of lust for a person or an object, but let’s keep this specific to people for now.

Love also has a scale. You can feel love for friends, family and a partner, all of which land at different points on the scale.

I believe a soul mate, or your true love, will sit at the top of the Love & Lust Scales. This is what most people picture when they think of fairytale love, undying, unfaltering, till death and beyond kind of love. Well, I believe in it. I believe your mate is out there and more importantly that it’s very real and very realistic to receive that kind of love in this lifetime.

Since I was a little girl I knew I wouldn’t settle for anything less, that “only the deepest love would persuade me into matrimony.” (Pride & Prejudice)

So why would I commit or be in any kind of exclusive relationship if I know he isn’t that man? Honestly, that’s how I’ve hurt men the most in my life, I couldn’t’ look him in his eyes and tell him it wasn’t enough for me, that it wasn’t that love for me and therefore wouldn’t be enough. I know now that the only right choice in these moments, when I want to be with someone but I know it’s not the deepest love, is to give him a choice. Tell him the truth and give him the choice.

Of course I could be wrong and maybe the kind of love I believe in isn’t something that’s love at first sight, but I wonder then why so many great poets, literates and artists have described such a love… day dreams for 30 minutes about love and forgets train of thought. Nah, it’s real, I’ve never doubted that.

Some may think my standards are too high, but I have to say I enjoy my choices fully. I have connected to some lovers on deep and foundational levels and I don’t think if I had tried to fit those relationships into the carefully drawn boxes of society and the masses and even most of my own family of what a relationship should be I would have been as successful in the intense and beautiful bonds I formed. I couldn’t give that up, even with all the mistakes, and crushed emotions, it’s still so beautiful to me… so human and natural.

Some people just aren’t meant to be together forever, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of our souls that will connect with theirs. You just have to be brave enough to be honest with yourself about how you really feel, no matter what your family, or society, or anyone says about how you should act.

There’s no such thing as how you should act anymore. There’s right and there’s wrong. If you’re hurting people or yourself you’re doing something wrong, simple as that. And there’s no book on the subject breaking down the rules of life. You know the difference between right and wrong like we all do. And trust me, we all do. You can be brainwashed into believing something different, but the feelings are there, deep below the surface, screaming for you to wake up and take notice.
Simply put, I run a roster because I can.

Check RULE #7: ‘theFinalRule: Check Your Emotions… at the door.’

E

What have you really got to lose?

Why do we find it so difficult to ask for what we want?

Is it really so hard to believe that the person sitting across from you could want the same thing?

Would it be so terrible if they said, no? Think of what you’ll go through playing the game and trying to decipher their intentions when one simple question could give you the answer. Time is precious baby, don’t ever forget that. So swallow your pride, or your fear, or whatever it is that’s holding you back from getting what you want… swallow.

Fuck what’s polite, fuck what’s proper and appropriate. Speak your mind, unapologetically. Speak from your heart, even if the question is something as heartless as, ‘Wanna fuck?’

Do you really understand how there’s a truth in that question and it’s more respectful then playing a game to get what you want? You’re giving someone a choice when you’re straight up like that, which shows respect for their opinion, and their feelings. You don’t wanna’ hurt, you just wanna’ taste. Ooo… that was good, wasn’t it?

Is that really such a terrible thing to want something from someone?

Now, granted this doesn’t only pertain to sexuality, this is an important concept to live by in every aspect of our lives. You only live once, and no one tells you how long your life is going to be, so make sure when you want something you spend all the energy you’re willing to give on it, whether it’s a job, a career, a partner, or even a dream… you must try for it, fight for it, and be willing to let it go if it isn’t meant for you at this time.

Conventional ways of achieving your dreams, and living your day to day life are a thing of the past. It’s not all about saving face and polite society as a closed group anymore. You make your own groups, you create your own life, you mustn’t be afraid of what you desire. You have to be willing to take it, to create your own path to it. Either that, or be willing to watch it slip through your fingers.

See, I’m the type of person that if I want something I’m not afraid to go for it. I’m not afraid to say it, I’m not afraid to act like I want it, and I’m certainly not afraid to make moves like it will be mine if I desire it. Follow me on this journey to getting what we truly desire.

If life is short, what have you really got to lose?

E

2015: Pampered Queen

Pamper yourself.

Whether you go to the salon and get your hair done, or the nail bar to get your nails done, or the spa for a massage and body wrap, it is so important that you designate chunks of time every week just for you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much it lifts your spirits and the extra energy it gives you so you can give more back to the people around you that you love. You will feel sexier and that energy is extremely powerful.

There’s something in the saying ‘give to yourself first’ that has resonated with me recently. I have always been a giver in my personal life, allowing people at times to suck me dry and leave me scrounging for enough emotional and physical energy to get through a single day, but once I became aware of my own energy, of my own body and it’s needs, I learned to take those minutes, hours, and sometimes entire days out for myself to ‘recharge.’ Mentally cleansing is something we should be practising on a day to day basis, but what about our physical bodies? Should not just as much care be put into them as well?

When you go to a salon you walk in and they take your coat, ask if you’d like something to drink and lead you to a comfortable place to sit with magazines and the like to wait for you stylist to greet you. You may not realize that something has changed in your surroundings and therefore your energy, but it has. You are now in an environment where people are there solely to take care of you, as you are doing for yourself, and it’s this selfless act of the people around you that makes all the difference. You have decided to call up a great salon instead of looking for the cheapest deal because you want the best for your hair and yourself and when you arrive for your appointment everyone is there to take care of you. They’re supporting your choice to pamper yourself. And this is extremely powerful for your energy. We should never downplay the impact that others have in our ives. Whether you like it or not, you cannot do it all alone. You need companionship and support, even if you’re paying for it.

A spa is the same, it’s about de-stressing and relaxation. Again, there are people designated to support and care for you as soon as you walk in the door. I can barely begin to explain how much this can effect your life and over-all health. Your energy and mentality will be balanced and brought back to neutral, you may possibly even delve into the realm of pleasure if you’re really aware of how much you’re enjoying the experience.

Your awareness plays a big role in your overall enjoyment and therefore your ability to allow these things to balance your life.

In a world as fast-paced and extreme as ours, it’s important to keep your balance, and the easiest way to do this, if you have no practise, is to pamper yourself. Go get your nails done, and your hair done. Go to a spa and have a massage or if they offer it, go for a float. All these things will keep you centred, balanced and sexy as fuuuck so you can take on the world and achieve your deepest desires and greatest dreams!

Now, I realize that some of you may not have the funds to divulge in such pleasure as going to the spa and the salon and the nail bar all in one month, so prioritize. See which one or two of these are the most important and functional in your life and make them part of your routine. As for the other things, you can always find ways to create an environment for yourself that will allow you to calm and balance your energy.

Bubble baths at home should never be under-valued. They’re great if you find a wonderful bubble bath with some aroma therapy (again my favourite is from Bath & Body Works), light a few candles, even bring in a glass of wine and just like that you’re transported anywhere you can imagine in this beautiful world of ours. Allow your mind to follow your body into relaxation.

Mani’s at home. I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl, so I’m quite good at it. If you enjoy painting and sculpting your nails, that’s an easy way to save money and still pamper yourself. Designate a night every week or two and get a good movie going, and pamper away! Great when you invite a girlfriend over and do it together.

There’s endless ways to pamper yourself and it really all depends on what you like and what you LOVE. Take the time to ask yourself what you love and let others help you in taking care of yourself. And start now. What can you easily implement into your life right now to take you to the status of Pampered Queen?

The Rules Of Running A Roster

Ok so, I live in a majour city with a population of approximately 2M, and I wanna talk a little bit about what it means to be fucking more than one person on a regular basis, since it seems we’re generally only getting worse at this practise instead of better. I truly believe this is an acceptable lifestyle choice IF you follow The Rules.

I’ve always called this game of sleeping with more than one person on a consistent basis, ‘Running a Roster’ for the simple reason that I consider these guys my team and I’m the manager, the one who decides who stays first string and who gets cut from the team altogether. It’s a fun and very satisfying way of expressing myself sexually. The reason I do it is obvious but my responsibilities to my team may not be as clear, so let’s clarify.

It’s my job to keep everyone happy or neutral and more importantly, it’s my job to keep them all completely ignorant of each other. Although I don’t lie to guys about whether or not I’m sleeping with other people, I think it’s very important that they never know who another ‘player in the game’ is. It complicates things and makes it an emotional issue instead of a moral one. Emotionally comparing himself to another guy, or morally deciding whether or not he’s willing to sleep with a woman who is keeping more than one partner… HUGE difference. This goes both ways.

It’s my responsibility to keep these guys in separate social circles so that they never come into contact with one another when I am involved. They really shouldn’t know each other and it’s best if they’re not in the same industry, for sake of becoming acquainted in the future, if you want to keep them around especially. And it’s their responsibility to do the same, if they’re also sleeping with other people. If honesty and openness is a guarantee then the only other issue is safety, and let’s not downplay that.

I usually get tested between individual partners, but in the case of ‘consistent repeat offenders’ it’s a bit more difficult to do this. And you can fairly assume that the multiple men you keep are also keeping multiple partners of their own, so there are many reason to get regularly tested. As well, it’s important to take the precaution of using condoms, to minimize the chances of passing or obatining STD’s & STI’s, especially since the more common ones, like Chlamydia don’t always show symptoms right away, if at all. If you really wanna keep this game going for an extended period of time and more importantly you want it to be a positive influence and experience in your life and the lives of others, you NEED to follow The Rules. They’re common sense, but since we live in a time when common sense isn’t that fucking common, let’s play a little game shall we?

Every Wednesday we talk Sex and every Wednesday for a few weeks I’m going to give you another of the Rules of Running a Roster. I’ll give you one rule and you have a week to test it out, talk to friends about it and do any other recon work you like (I’ll be curious as to how you came by your opinion). If the rule applies to you, in this case if you’re fucking more than one person consistently then I would like to hear your thoughts and personal experiences on the subject for the sake of our discussion moving the understanding of our desires and needs as a society upward and onward. Forgive me for being so brash, but I think we can honestly say that you’re not ‘making love’ or maybe not even having ‘casual sex’ if you’re sleeping with more than one person consistently. You’re more likely ‘just fucking,’ and believe me when I say, there’s nothing wrong with that …IF you follow The Rules. We can start a discussion about what’s working and what isn’t, but please know, if you post a comment I will hold you responsible for your words, so if you’re sensitive or just plain stupid prepare yourself cuz I’m gunna call you on your bullshit, out of love, of course.

We all love to get off, and fuck, and have great casual sex with someone we can eat or drink, chill or smoke with, but in the end we’re all just trying to have every kind of kinky sex imaginable with our one and only Mate. The cold, hard truth of it is, we all still need to fuck until we meet the person we have been looking for our whole lives. Accept this fact, men and women alike and I promise you, with a few simple rules to protect yourself and others, physically and emotionally, we can all have plennnnty of fun waiting for our significant other to come along.

Follow along next Wednesday for the first and most CRUCIAL Rule:

‘Honestly is usually the best policy‘.

E

What’s bad, but not bad for you?

I ask because I’ve always liked being bad. I know that sounds weird, but I enjoy the thrill of leading that double life. On one hand I run my life and take care of all my responsibilities, and on the other hand I walk that fine line between light and darkness, and every now and then I cross it completely. Is that really such a bad thing?

If you’re like me, at this point in the game you’ve got to be asking yourself, is there a way to do it with balance? So that we can still enjoy all the excitement that comes from this type of lifestyle, but also take care of ourselves and our responsibilities without falling off track, to have our cake and eat it too?

It would certainly be difficult to keep the balance fluid and consistent. For me, my dark desires are more than just sex, and I don’t find that to be amongst the unhealthy ones as long as I play it smart and safe, so for now at least we’re not gunna talk about sex. We’re gunna talk about vices, or more simply put, habits because that’s all they really are if you think about it.

I smoke, I drink tonnes of coffee, sometimes Redbull, and I don’t really eat properly, or to be truthful I just eat at the worst times. I wake up, I make a pot of coffee, I smoke and only sometimes have a glass of water. After a few hours, I eventually eat something. By this time I’ve been up for hours and the only things I’ve put into my body are nicotine and other toxins, caffeine and chemical sweeteners. I like that International Delight coffee flavouring, which might be worse than splenda? Lol.

I’m not hating on myself, or crying about how bad my habits are. This is just what I do. I smoke pot everyday for as long as I can remember, I drink occasionally, but that’s an increasing habit as well. All in all, my body is starting to feel the effects of it. Like I’m slowly but surely getting foggier and slower, less agile on a day to day basis. And I honestly don’t think it’s a ‘you’re just getting older and your body is changing’ kinda thing. I don’t mean to get all stereotypical with it, but look at Beyonce, seriously. Age is just a number, it’s all about how we take care of our shit, our mind, our body, our soul. All that energy is a very real thing.

I’ve always felt like if you want to do something and it isn’t harming others, then you should do it. You should live your life to the fullest, however you want that makes you truly happy, and you shouldn’t have to answer to anyone for that. This is your life, you’re the one that’s going to die with all your decisions one day, and no one else. And so, at some point in my life I decided I was never going to say no to myself. If I wanted to eat an entire cheesecake at 3am, I was gunna do it. And if I wanted to smoke, I was gunna smoke, and if I wanted to fuck 3 guys consistently and run a roster, then 3 guys it was. And I never gave a shit about what anyone had to say about it, because it’s my life and I’m the one who takes the consequences. I know who I am, and how I feel about myself therefore if I am a good person, who does good for people and takes good care of myself, my friends, and family, I felt it justified.

I may not be perfect, but I live an extraordinary life, and I will never apologize for that. What I’m trying to do, is live a more balanced, more fulfilling life. One where I’m truly successful in all the extraordinary things I’ve ever wanted out of this life for myself, and for others. I believe we can live the lives we’ve always wanted to live, and I honestly believe that in some way, finding how to balance all the dark desires that we have, is getting us closer to living those lives.

I’d love to hear you thoughts on this post, or how you balance your ‘double lives’, and I say double lives in quotes this time, because it’s just our lives. That’s the way it was always supposed to be lived… spherically, and extraordinarily, without having to play by someone else’s rules. Make your own rules, find your own balance… and fuck the box.

If you win the rat race, you’re still just a fuckin rat.

Have you ever seen someone attractive and thought to yourself, ‘They’re a 7,’ and then you guys start talking and all of a sudden they’re way sexier, definitely a 10? Or the opposite, when you first see someone and they’re gorgeous, an easy 9 but then they open their mouth and speak and drop to more of a 5.5? My point is, it really isn’t just about looks anymore. Not your hair, your make-up, your outfit or your Loubou’s. That’s the easy shit and if you want to step your game up, you have to look at your image spherically. Let me explain…

Being sexy as fuck is about your attitude, the way you carry yourself and your demeanour as a whole. The way you present yourself is the way you feel about yourself. And believe me, we’re all as see through as a freshly polished window. This goes for women and men alike. Men don’t have as many options for the game of illusion as women do so they are more ‘see-through’, if you will. For women, it’s an endless magic show, but don’t kid yourself, you’re probably not as good at the game as you think. But if you learn to play the game of life on a scale of greatness you can use the game of illusions to highlight your strongest virtues. Everything is a game because it’s meant to be enjoyed. Life is meant to be fun! It’s not about dishonour and disloyalty, although many choose to play that way, there is a way to play for the benefit of all, for the greatness of humanity.

It’s important to take care of your body physically, and maintain your unique look to be physically attractive, but anyone can do that. What’s really important is that you hone your most positive and ego driven energy, especially when in social settings, and in public in general. This is all about having fun and looking good so you can feel good about yourself in general and see a creative world with endless possibilities in front you of.

To do this you have to understand on a foundational level what it is to be alive. You have to know every part of yourself so that you can understand that on this level we are all alike. We have the same basic needs sure, but we also have the same basic desires. We all need to feel loved and we will all go through a bunch of emotional fuckin’ turmoil in order to become stronger and grow, learning important things about life and people, ourselves included as we go.

You have to understand that there are different parts of your life, categories if you like, and they all need certain attention for you to truly feel fulfilled and love your life. It may differ slightly for some, but I believe most people will have the same categories with the same basic needs.

Professional/Business Life: This is the part of your life where you create and build in this world, where you help others become great as well, and where you acquire your wealth (whatever it means to be wealthy to you).

Social Life: Today your social life is not just for personal use, it is also a place where you network, not always for a profit but always for the overall success of the group. Let that sink in… and remember it when posting shit on social media and always mind the fact that once something has been published or posted, there’s no taking it back.

(If you’re the CEO of a massive company that you built you may not want pictures from high school  or your early 20’s circulating amongst your industry peers 10 years down the line. Just a thought.)

Personal Life: Your personal life is where you find fulfilment in all your desires. It is entirely unique to each individual and you will make the closest friends and ally’s when you find commonalities with others in this category. Desire is a very raw and very powerful energy that sets your soul ablaze. You cannot suppress it, it will not be contained, BUT it is a lot of fun when you learn to express it on all levels. Sex does not fall in this category, although dating does, for it is not social life but a social act that does not depend solely on sex. A subtle difference that once understood makes dating fun and entertaining as opposed to stressful and awkward. Good food, good music, good company. It’s getting to know someone on a personal level, and possibly letting someone get to know you on the same level. It can be very fulfilling it you think of it more as a social one on one, rather than an analysis of one’s ability to fit into your desires. Or even more stressful, your ability to fit into theirs.

Sex Life: Your sex life does not necessarily include dating. It doesn’t even have to include another person at times. This part of your life is about physicals needs and desires. There is so much expression to be had in your sex life for it is when you are your most primal. Call it instincts, call it lust, call it anything you like, it falls into one category, sex. You can go a year without having sex and still have a sex life. If you’re not having sex AND you’re not masterbating for a year, consult a doctor immediately!! There’s definitely something wrong with you! Haaa! All kidding aside though, you need to go within to figure this one out. No Doctor is going to be able to do this part for you. Take responsibility for the way your feel. It’s not as hard as you may think to fix yourself.

Go into your mind, dig deep and find your soul, find who you really are, what you really want. From your deepest, darkest desires to your everyday wants. You need to be very open and even more honest with yourself. There’s no one listening when you’re in your head, so get good and clear in there. If you’ve lost your sexual desire or you just don’t feel the electric energy in sex anymore, you need to change something. Take the time to figure out why you don’t feel the need to cum, to have that euphoric rush all through your body, and feel everything troublesome melt away after. I believe it’s a physical necessity like eating healthy and exercising. Physical release, or orgasm is a crucial part of your overall health and happiness. Not quite as essential as breathing or sleeping because you won’t die without it, but definitely important to the fine balance of fulfilment in life.

Love Life: Ahhh, amour. Now this is more connected to the other categories than all the rest. And it’s not just about that one partner we’re all looking for, or have found. There are many different levels of love. It has a scale all on it’s own, and so does lust but we’ll get into that later. You can have mad love for a good friend, and those people will build to be your inner circle, the one’s you call family.

The reason I say this category blurs the lines the most is because you can find every different kind of love in any other area of your life and it becomes part of this category in your life. I believe when you feel love for someone, anyone, it’ll forever be part of who you are. It’ll leave it’s mark on you, and you will learn and grow from it every time, no exceptions. Even if you were burned or the love ends in catastrophe, it’ll always have been there and you need to accept the fact that you don’t get to choose. Most people can’t even admit when they have love for someone because they can’t define it, or it’s reason for existing. Again, let me say, it is not a choice. Someone you find attractive isn’t a choice either, it just happens. You are attracted to what you’re attracted to, end of story, no explanation. That’s a rule in this game, and it’s one of the unbreakable ones. There is no free will here. Your free will is the choice to act on a feeling or not, so stop with the denial and fear of attraction and love on any level and start being grateful that it’s your choice what you do and don’t do. Period.

You can decide you don’t want to have love for someone because of any reason you like but it’ll decide all on it’s own when that feeling, that love ends. You can mind fuck yourself out of it, sure, especially if the connection has a really negative impact on your life, but you have to be real with yourself about it before it even has a chance to turn into a lesson. I will explain this a lot more in depth in the months to come. You can change the things you’re attracted to if you change the foundational level of the attraction, but you have to understand that it’s not a simple process. It is as complicated as changing who you are because it is part of who you are. You can’t fight yourself, it’s a waste of time, but you can improve yourself. Say you have really shit taste in people, friends and lovers both. You know they’re bad for you but you’re attracted anyways, usually very physically attracted, explosively even. You probably describe it like a drug addiction and you’re not wrong. You’ve decided to find certain things about this person attractive. You can change yourself so you don’t find those draining things so attractive anymore and this is why I’m going to get deeper into it. We could all use a little upgrade in the quality of people we get close to.

The sooner you get real about who you have love for and on what level you love them, you’ll make the important connections stronger and with the ease of detachment you’ll see the others fade away, all on their own.

It’s a fine game of balance allowing your desires to become categorized, and the endgame will always be your own satisfaction and fulfilment. You have to be brave enough to play the game. And I’ll tell you a secret, you’re in the game whether you realize it or not. Pons are the first to go, fleeting little blips that no one even bothers to remember. They have impact, sure, they’re the front lines and while someone has command and control of when and how they die, they’re just happy to be in the game, thinking to themselves they did something honourable and worth doing for the greater good. Pons, they’re a necessity forsure, but do you really wanna be one?

If you win the rat race, you’re still just a fuckin’ rat.

Weekend Vibes: They say sex is the best workout…

On Fridays I’m going to open up my personal vault of sexy secrets so you may find the courage to be the sexy beast of a woman that you truly are. There’s so much potential in that energy if you’re aware of it and you know how to properly wielded it. When you feel sexy down to your very core you feel powerful and when you walk out into the world you have an aura that is undeniably attractive, not just to the opposite sex, but to everyone you encounter. Happiness, love and electric sexual energy are what make life worth living so you don’t have be afraid of tapping into your deepest and darkest desires. And you don’t have to be afraid to express them. You may well be surprised as to the outcome and path it leads you down.

You’ve heard me mention in previous posts that I enjoy dancing and stretching as part of my morning routine but really it’s more than that. I love to dance and have from a young age and although I stopped taking hip hop dance classes over a decade ago, I always loved the confidence and sexual expression it gave me. Today, I love to learn new moves that may not always be appropriate for the dance floor but they certainly are worth being able to do when you’re behind closed doors. Like twerking for example. Gross to most but very seductive in the right setting. Something about feeling your ass bounce in the most sexual way, almost as a taunt is a huge turn on, not just for your partner, but for your confidence as well. Take a good look at his eyes, his mouth, his body language as you pop it in front of him, as you bend over and touch the floor… it may just take the stigma off twerking for you forever.

I put on the sexiest hip hop and r&b I can find and start grinding my hips in controlled circles, just to loosen up. Hear the music, feel the beat, and let the rhythm take you to a sexy place in your mind. Grinding like this will nip in your waste and strengthen your core, especially the lower you go to the floor. Spread your stance out and arch your back when you pop your ass up and down. You’ll feel your muscles burning, so stand up and bend over to touch the floor. Stretch it out. Move your hips side to side when you’re bent over and feel your ass shake as you do. Stand back up and grind it out again, getting lower and moving slowly so you can control the circles. Anybody can twerk and shake it, even if you can’t arch your back just yet, the more you loosen up, the more you will be able to do. Don’t be shy. You’re at home, behind closed doors. This is the time for you to feel about your body how you’d like someone else to feel about your body. Think about it.

Now maybe twerking isn’t something you feel the need to do, so move your hips like a belly dancer, around and around in circles, side to side and wind like a snake. Over time you will see the results in the tone of your muscles and you will feel the way you are able to control your posture when you walk or even just stand. You will feel more in control of your muscle tone and your hips. Your legs will become strong and the shape of your thighs and booty will change. Posture is everything when it comes to the shape of your body. The muscles you use and how you use them will shape and tone your figure. Don’t be afraid to step outside the box with your exercises. Twerking is a great way to squat and have fun at the same time. Winding is a great way to work your obliques and lower abs without doing sit ups or crunches. It’s all about how you use the muscles. And whether you do it for a good workout or to improve your posture, I promise it will improve your confidence and overall sexual energy. Confidence and a sexy attitude are the most attractive things on a woman, especially when they’re the only things on a woman.

They say that sex is the best workout for the female figure, so take some time to do some sexy moves, it might improve more than just your body.

E

2015: Year of the Beast

It’s crazy how something as simple as your underwear can change your attitude. Even the word lingerie is sexier than underwear. When you say to yourself in the morning, I’m putting my lingerie on under my jeans, or suit, or whatever, it changes how you feel and therefore how you walk, talk and carry yourself throughout the day.

I would suggest every woman goes out and purchases a matching pair of bra and panties, preferably something with lace, that they can justify as lingerie, even if it isn’t being shipped in from France or Italy. That being said, I would also suggest that every woman takes a serious look at her budget to see if she can justify shipping something in from France or Italy. There’s nothing in this world that you can put on under you clothes that’s going to make you feel more like a powerful beast of a woman than European lingerie. Start small if you have to, but do it! Do it because you love yourself and you love your body and 100…1,000% you’re worth it. You’ll understand the value of it as soon as you walk out of your home that first time, and just like that it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever bought for yourself.

Now, all the fancy EU lingerie talk aside, you can catch the same feeling day to day by being more mindful of what you put on under your clothes everyday. If you have full bum cotton panties that are white or nude, do me a favour… go into your drawer, grab them, and chuck them right now! They’re gross and they’re probably not even white anymore. Who needs ’em anyways? I like a good full bum panty or booty short as much as any girl but I buy them from Victoria’s Secret, in pretty colours, with lace trim like any sexy female should! Don’t argue with me! Lesson learned, I forgive you. Moving on.

If you don’t have a regular shaving routine to keep your legs and vajee (my own word, sound it out) smooth and well kept, start one now. You don’t want to get caught off guard and there’s no excuse for showing up at work with stubble, or worse… wanting to spend the night with a gorgeous man and having to say no because you haven’t shaved in a week and a half. Smh, step up your game starting now.

We’re turning over a new leaf here, let’s get organized and act like the grown women that we are. Laziness is gross and there’s no point in it, you know it doesn’t make you happy! I do a full shave every Thursday or Friday for the weekend and re-do lower legs and arms on Wednesdays. If you can afford waxing in your monthly budget, even better. Pre-book your appointments at your favourite salon so your next appointment is already a set date and you don’t even have to think about it. And keep sexy and smooth by shaving your legs and whatever else you want hairless in between.

We are the strong, powerful, beautiful and youthful women of this era. Let’s take pride in how we feel by paying meticulous attention to our upkeep and maintenance. Now, I understand that not everyone wants to have a shaving routine, and that’s fine. It’s the idea of it. The idea that we want to look and feel our best when it absolutely counts and not just for other’s but for ourselves as well. Whether it’s work at a bar or date night every Wednesday with your husband. Even if you’re single and haven’t had sex in over a year. I don’t care! If you want to change the way you feel sexually, then you have to change the way you care for your body. And the most important way to do that is to pay attention to the things that make us feel sexy. Like silky smooth skin and a well maintained vagina, beautiful panties and fine lingerie.

I love to use sugar scrubs from Bath & Body Works after I shave my arms and legs. The oils leave my skin feeling unbelievably soft and we all know how incredible they smell. There’s a scent for everyone, so find something that makes you close your eyes and breathe it deep into your lungs. If your mouth waters, even better, his will too.

Enjoy ladies, and please for the love of all things sexy, throw out those nasty old granny panties. It’s 2015, Year of the Beast, fucking act like it.

E