Not Today Bobo.

Ok, quick update! I did not fuck theThrowback. Honestly I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t worth the risk of ruining a perfectly great reunion. I will always remember him as the cool kid who had a crush on me and was too shy to do anything about it. And I’ll always remember how I fantasized about him for months, dreaming of all the possibilities. But really it came down to this, if the last thing he said to me that night wasn’t, ‘Wanna’ see my weiner?’ I might’ve followed through. HAAA! I wish I were joking, I really do.

Lesson of the day, Ladies…
the Devil is in the Details. I left that small but crucial detail out for a reason. I wanted to know what you guys would do in a similar situation if he hadn’t said that last line to you. Cuz really, how am I supposed to take a 30 year old man seriously if he calls his own dick a weiner?! And wtf kinda ‘goodbye, hope to link up another night’ is that anyways? I didn’t even register what he said until I got into my taxi. I was half way out the door and he hollered that down the stairs. LOL. This is a grown ass man!

So that was it for me, that was the deciding factor after everything else was weighed out. Hope you enjoyed talking about this little adventure with me. I’ll be back with more stories about sex, romance, and just bein’ a grown ass woman livin’ in the city trying to become the youngest female billionaire. That’s right Sara Blakely, I’m comin’ for you. 😉

 

-E

 

theThrowBack

 

‘To fuck. Or not to fuck…
That’s almost always the fuckin’ question, isn’t it?
I am theConductor. And my favourite word is Fuck. –E’

12 years later…(somewhere in Canada)

Ok, the backstory first. Cuz you knowww there’s always a fuckin’ backstory containing the cruuucial details that make all the difference in the world. And I need some advice, for real though. I mean, what’s a woman to do when she simply can’t decide? Answer: Ask a friend. So I’m askin’.

Here’s the story.
This guy was actually the first sexual fantasy I ever had. How fucked is that? That’s pretty much all I remember about, let’s call him, theCoolKid. Ya, we’re going back to that shit, high school days. Fuck, pre-highschool even. He was my big brother’s friend when I was still in elementary school! I’m talking 10, 11 years old… nottt good years for my look. And I’m from a stuuupidly small town, like one highschool small, so we all grew up together. Him and my brother got close after a few years and he started coming over and hanging out more often. Cut to a year before highschool and if you know my stories you can imagine how incredibly sexual I was at this point, even if I wasn’t ready to explore that with someone else… but the truth is, I thought about it with this one. For the first time ever I wanted to reallllly know what it would be like to have that incredible orgasm I’d craved like a drug for years with someone else.

In my present memory of this little crush, it was short lived. We weren’t in the same circles at all. And there were really only a few to begin with. I was always a chameleon, in my mind, I floated from group to group and was kinda friends with everyone. Really I was a bit of a loner. I liked spending time on my own, I was always kinda doin my own thing. Social, but livin’ two lives forsure. He was, well theCoolKid. Everyone knew him, he was well liked. Even was nice to the ugly girls, blah blah. A social butterfly and the principal’s son.

I left this small town when I was 16 and JUST starting to get hot. I didn’t even hit puberty til 6 months later and was still a virgin. So cut to present, none of those people have seen me for 12 years minimum and I get this message, you guessed it, from theCoolKid a few days ago and he says he’s comin to myCity for the weekend and wants to link, if I’m interested. (P.S. Classic insecure addition to a perfectly cool request to link). So I rip through his facebook real quick and outside of seeming to have gained some weight, he looked like a decent enough guy. I was curious enough so I thought, fuck it, why not catch up? I message back and tell him I’m workin’ all weekend and he should stop by my bar and say hi with the friend he’s visiting with.

Next day is Friday and long story short, he goes to an event and stops by after. Let’s be specific though, cuz I know you wanna know, Ladies… What kinda guy is he? The rough and burley type. Used to be a basketball player. Jock from a small town, that’s his type to a tee. He’s theCoolKid. Always talkin’ and tellin’ jokes. He’s tall too, like 6’7” tall. Which is obviously sexy as fuck, but I ain’t into the beard, and his was scruffy and blah in my mind. Still kinda beautiful though. The eyes, the smile. And when I saw him in person he wasn’t as heavy and outta’ shape as I thought. Still athletic forsure, just one of those body types that if he isn’t constantly training he carries a bit of extra weight around the middle. More soft than anything, and to me, sloppy. Definitely not myStyle. I’m tiny as fuck and have incredible stamina in bed and an even more ferocious appetite. So I really need someone who can keep up and doesn’t crap out on me. I like to play the tap out game.

Hmmm, what else can I tell you to give you a good feel for this guy? Man, cuz I can break this down as ‘For’ and ‘Against’ all day long, just like the lawyer I used to wanna be. But the real question becomes… and really the only question is… is it worth it if it wasn’t worth it?

Hear me out, cuz there’s important shit I haven’t told you yet. Question: If he ain’t any good, or I just leave feeling like it was crap sex, or a shit connection, or whatever, like it was a waste of my youth when I’m gunna go home and fuck myself until I’m satisfied anyways…. will it have been worth it to fuck my childhood crush just for the sentimentality of it? You gotta weigh it out right? I can and always have fucked who I want, when I want, so after 10+ years of runnin’ a roster, it ain’t enough, the sentimentality of an old crush fuck is only worth it about half the time in my limited experience. Jus sayin.

How’s that shit for a dirty fuckin’ question. I laugh at guys who think they’re the only ones with twisted desires and fantasies and fetishes. Pfff, as if. You ever met a free woman with a fierce appetite for power and sex, one that matches perhaps even your own?

Ok, so we’re hangin’ out at the bar and it’s pretty slow, so I get off work early and we’re all hangin out, catchin’ up. End of the night comes, we’ve been drinkin’, him a lot more than me (Con, for anyone keepin’ score) and I got a Rule man, I almost NEVER fuck someone the first time when we’re drunk. It just ain’t my thing. If I’ve fucked the guy before that’s one thing, but the first time I wanna know forsure I can trust him in the simple ways I need to trust someone I sleep with. I’m a little girl man, you gotta be fuckin careful Ladies, no matter how smart and fast and fierce you think you are. You’re dealing with a man (refer to Louis C.K. HBO Special) if you ain’t gettin what I’m saying. And I just wanna, I need to experience a person. If I desire a man, and I wanna taste, then I wanna savour it like french cuisine. I wanna be present and clear, and fuckin in it.

Seriously though, I don’t wanna fuck simply for penis in vagina. That’s like masterbating with another person, not my jam. I wanna feel a man, through and through, even if it is just straight fuckin’. That’s definitely, 100% my jam. I wanna know how he fucks, and what he desires and I wanna play and control and submit, and just fuckin’ rawrrr, you know? Hahaha

So anyways, he’s jsut way too drunk for my taste, meaning you know I ain’t tryna’ fuck that night but maybe keep the link for another night before he leaves, cuz I’m still curious… and since we were really vibin’ and havin’ a great time catchin’ up and hearin’ about each other’s lives and shit I thought I’d be a good woman and bounce as soon as possible, not to let him think there was a chance that night. I don’t like to lead a guy on, or more so just waste people’s time. Even though I knew he wouldn’t like it, it was only cuz he wouldn’t understand I wasn’t fuckin’ him that night, no matter what. Even if it was my only chance and I’d never see him again I still probably wouldn’t. I’m talkin’ worse odds than the lottery here. Zero chance of fuckin’ me that night. Haha

But… I’m a fuckin’ sucker. Fu u u c k . And I stayed and kicked it later than I should’ve. A good girl would’ve gone the fuck home and not let it play out as long as I did. Chillin’ at his place and shit, not smart. He’s all, ‘we can just talk and hang out, it’s cool, we’re just vibin’ so good’, blah blah… And here lies the start of my dilemma. Before those extra hours it was a ‘who cares, I’ma just play this out and either way I’m cool with how this goes’ kinda vibe. Now, it’s this confession shit, layin together and getting all cozy. Too cozy. Lol. I was torn. I am fuckin’ torn. Of course I wanted to fuck. I always wanna fuck. Who the fuck doesn’t? Essspecially for a good fantasy fuck, like a throw back to your past, and I’m talkin’ your fuckin’ passst. This was the fuckin’ original, and he’s fuckin’ standin’ over me all 6’7″, lookin’ all entranced by my transformation from the scrawny little weirdo he knew TWELVE fuckin years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’m on Facebook, I do post some pics and people have seen me change because of that but it’s a very different thing to see someone who grew up sexy as fuck that you knew from way back. Someone, he confessed later in the evening, that he had always had a majour crush on. BOOM. Validation. Satisfaction. The best thing I could’ve asked for from this one, other than a six pack with all that height, damn. (Truth: This wouldn’t even be a question if he took better care of himself. I’m a sucker for someone with massive self respect. Ha. What can I say?)

theConfession:
He told me that he used to live just a couple blocks away (which was news to me) and that he would sit there for hours sometimes and day dream about walkin’ over to my house, knockin’ on the door and just scooping me up and hugging me, and then just holding me. I ain’t even shittin’ you right now, that’s fuckin’ quoted. And he’s the best cuddler ever, btw cuz he’s tellin’ me all this shit in my ear, keepin’ me warm. I could only imagine how he fucks, cuz like a true control freak, I got up and fuckin left yo. My rules man, they’re there for a fuckin’ reason. So the struggle goes deeper.

Cuz if I fuck this kid, theCoolKid, I gotta be able to tell y’all the story in all it’s juicy details. I mean that’s why we listen to our friends bitch for hours about all their drama, is for the details, ain’t it? Maybe that’s just the lawyer in me, I’ve always thought like that… ‘weigh it out, is it worth it?’

On one hand, you could argue that I’ve always wanted to fuck this kid and therefore, why not?

On the other hand, I know already it’s a 50/50 split on whether or not it’s gunna be any fuckin’ good or not.

And truthfully, I don’t need decent sex right now, I need an incredible fuck.
Quote that shit Ladies. You can even take credit for it. 😉

Right now, what I have is incredible validation of a very old fantasy, and it feels damn good to know that he was right there with me, suffering with desire just like I was. I’ve always said man, that kinda shit is never one sided. You see someone on the street and you catch eye contact for just a split second and you had that sort of quick flutter feeling. I fuckin’ swear they felt it too. It’s so often mutual.

Now that I’m really thinkin about it too, there’s so many more details I could tell you about this story, but I’ve given you enough to make an educated guess and maybe even some good points about what I ‘should’ do, so I’ma leave you with this…

To fuck theThrowBack? Or not to fuck? That is the question.

I’ll be waiting to hear from y’all and be quick about it too, I got less than 24 hours to decide. #Werd

-E

Rules of Running A Roster: The Conclusion.

Part One: My thoughts about sex have never been ‘normal’ but they have always been honest.

I remember when I was in high school, how ready I was to have sex, how badly I wanted to taste all the pleasures I had seen. I wanted to experience for myself what it was like to be so consumed by a man that I couldn’t help but scream out in total pleasure.

I knew what an orgasm felt like, but I wanted… I needed to know what it was like to have one caused by another. I needed to know what it was like to cause such a peak of pleasure in another.

I had no intention of being with one man my entire life, I wanted to taste them all. I wanted to experience all different kinds of love making, and casual sex, and primal fucking… and experience things I couldn’t even fathom in my youth. I wanted to taste seduction.

I didn’t feel guilty about that until I started having sex and getting involved with guys, and like I’ve hinted at in the past, I learned a lot of lessons the hard way. Hurting people and making huge mistakes that I would’ve regretted if I believed in regret.

But why regret something in life? I’ve never killed anyone, and you can’t live a full life without ever hurting a single soul, even by accident, so I learned. I learned and I put rules in place for myself so I could get what I wanted and not cause any damage. I wanted to take, I wanted to take so much… but I was fully willing to give as much as I demanded. So I strived to find my balance.

I was a loner most of my life, a very social loner. I lived in my head most of my late teens, never needing anyone to agree or even understand me in order to move forward with my desires. I was always at parties and social gatherings, but I made sure to spend an equal amount of time alone with my thoughts and my own energy.

I realize not everyone has that in them, but my spirit has always been fiercely independent. My mother taught me that, and I suppose I was never really alone because she was always there when I needed her.

Again, I realize, not everyone has that. Which is why I decided to start this blog. I want everyone to have someone. So I’m here, with you, for you. Anything you ever need to be understood in, I will be here for you.

Especially as a woman, I think it’s crucial to our evolution that we stand together in our desires and substantial needs. The media and celebrity culture we’ve created today are completely changing the way women are viewed sexually. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. I think it’s great that women have the choice now on how far they take their sexual exploits, but we have to keep clear in our minds what we want in order to remain in control of our lives.

You can’t give into someone else’s opinion of you and your actions and then complain because you’re not being treated with the respect you need. Take the reins and mould your own perception and persona.

You are responsible for you own emotional stability, so you have to be clear with what you desire. You can do anything you like in this world and still respect yourself as long as you know in your heart, and keep clear in your mind what it is you’re doing, you will never lose the value you hold for yourself. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you, and what you do with your life isn’t up to them.

I understand though, what it’s like to be shunned, to be labeled as something you don’t see in yourself, especially when you’re sleeping with a variety of guys. It’s not always easy, but nothing worth doing is.

My advice to you on this front is simple, keep your private life, private. Your personal life is separate from your private life. You can share your personal life with anyone you choose, but choose wisely when you speak about your private life. Especially your current private life. You may think you have a tight inner circle, and time will tell, but regardless, always protect yourself when opening up about these thoughts, desires, and actions.

There’s only a subtle difference between what’s personal and what’s private, and I can break it down for you easily enough. Personal is what makes you unique, your taste in men for example. Private is what can cause you damage or stress if it gets out, like who you’re currently fucking.

Even if you completely trust the people around you, be aware when you’re speaking on things that can damage relationships. First, ask yourself if you really need to talk about it, why you’re talking about it. To share a story? Ok fair enough, just don’t ever let it be because you need the justification of it. You’re giving away too much power if that’s the case and the fact that you need justification should be a red flag, for real, for real… Keep it to yourself. Go internal if you have to. Break it down in your mind.

Do like I do, start a journal. Talk to yourself, talk to the universe, but don’t ever… EVER speak your secrets to another. If there’s private things you discuss between you and someone you fuck, don’t talk that to anyone. Even if you know the stories will never get told. It’s not right to share those intimate secrets, even with your closest friend.

That’s the intimacy between you and someone you’ve laid with, and if you want to keep that strong, then keep that secret, keep it private. Put it in the vault, and never let it out. Even if your lover fucks up and speaks your secrets to another, keep strong to your values and keep your shit to yourself. That’s how you attract your like. Live on another level and watch people rise to meet you there, watch your equals come into your world and surround you. Be the change you want to see in the world. I love you all and I hope you enjoy my musings as much as I enjoy sharing them with you. It’s going to be a big couple months to come, I have so much in store for you!

With that being said, I’ve got some majour outsourcing to do to bring you guys Pt.2 of the Conclusion for Rules of Running A Roster, and I want to hear from you!!! I want to know exactly and fully what you think about the rules, and how the ideas I put forth make you feel about your own sexuality. Damn, I even wanna hear from you if you think I’m crazy, or if you’re crazy. I like a good nut job as much as anyone, so don’t be shy… tell me what’s on your mind!! Here’s some questions if you’re at a loss for where to start.

Do the rules make sense to you?

Do you think a woman can successfully run a roster?

Have you ever tried to set some rules or moral guidelines for yourself to be more successful in your sex life?

If you fuck consistently, different men, what’s your number one concern about keeping the peace?

Do you love to fuck as much as I do?

Lastly, I wanna know… do you believe in undying love?

Your loyal friend,

E

Weekend Vibes: Test The Theory

There’s nothing more attractive and sexy than a woman who isn’t afraid to be unapologetically herself. And I’m not talking about swearing like a trucker and having no filter no matter who you’re speaking to. I do believe there’s a time and a place for everything, but I’m talking here about baring your soul to the people around you for the sake of being uniquely yourself and inspiring others to feel comfortable enough to do the same. You can pave the way if you’re unapologetic about who you are and you don’t let the people around you cast their gloomy shadow’s demeanour on your vibrant soul’s.

I have always had a gift for picking up on people’s internal dialogue, on their body language, on how they move and why they do what they do. Perception was something I became aware of at a very young age. I noticed how people perceived me, my movements and how it affected them, both internally and externally and how they perceived others. I learned to listen to and understand my own internal thoughts and feelings, which only furthered my understanding of people’s internal dialogue, and from this I understood deeply human desire, rebellion, and how much misery loves company.

As an effective byproduct, today I am very good at manipulating people’s perception of me which I use more often than not to lift the energy of a group and it is a quite profitable trait in many industries. It’s all a game of illusions, anyone who wears make-up and knows how to dress their specific body type knows this game better than they might initially realize. It’s one and the same when it comes to how people view you and their deep internal thoughts and feelings about you. That’s why I talk so much about being aware of how you carry yourself. People interpret your body language subconsciously without any effort, it’s a mixing of energies on a foundational level, everybody does it and it’s mostly unavoidable, unless you’re trained not to trust a person’s exterior or to appear ‘invisible’ in a public space. (Don’t worry! That will come later.)

You don’t have to pay any attention to the stigmas attached to manipulation. There are a lot of shitty people out there who aren’t trying to make the world a better place, so anyone’s else’s definition of manipulation is irrelevant in this conversation. You simply need to understand that you can use any of the gifts or skills that you have for the betterment of humanity if you so choose it, manipulation being one of them. We’re not the ones who are going to be part of a stereotypical group so brush off any prior understandings of taboo things like manipulation, dominance, or ego. I can teach you to observe people’s perceptions and biases and therefore be able to manipulate the way you’re perceived so you can get what you desire. Simple as that. Let me simplify for a second so you really know what I’m saying to you, what I’m offering to you. (For free. Many will charge a whack of cash to teach you how to speak in public, or dominate a room in a board meeting, ‘How To: Kill an interview and get the job you always wanted!’ but to me these are key skills to any success in life and I’d like to give them to you free of charge because I actually wanna see you succeed. I love you simply because we’re the same species, simple as that. I don’t need people to pay me for this service, I just hope it helps you get what you want and need. <3)

Think about when you go to a job interview, and you really want the job so you’re ridiculously nervous. You may be presenting a lack of confidence or even a lack people skills from your interviewer’s point of view and not because these things are necessarily true, you could have excellent people skills but right there in that moment you’re being perceived otherwise and it could cost you that job. Maybe you don’t just want this job, maybe you need it, so the pressure’s on. You’re sweating, internally you’re a fuckin’ mess, and afterwards you drive home knowing you didn’t do your best and if only you weren’t so damn anxious and wracked with nerves the job would’ve been yours. You know you could do it in your sleep!

It’s happened to the best of us, believe me but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be perceived however you like. The most seemingly hopeless cases can learn to come across as cool, calm and collected a 007 himself. In moments like these it’s easier to accomplish than you might think, regardless of your lack of social skills or experience, or who else has applied for the job or how much of a nervous wreck you are internally, or a million other possibilities.

If you know how to read someone’s over all demeanour then you’re way ahead of the game with an Ace up your sleeve and three more in your back pocket and the job is basically already yours. This can be applied to anything in your life, any dream, any fantasy. Only one disclaimer here: It has to be genuine, it has to be what you truly want, otherwise you’ll just continue around in circles, lying to yourself and attracting the hard learned lessons over and over again as the Universe enjoys the lashing like a possessive dominant with no intention of going easy on you. And like any Great Dom, it knows what you can and cannot handle, so NO FEAR! But if you’re like me at this point, you’re sick of learning the hard way and wanna skip the drama and move right along to the lesson.

If you heed the lessons, and make good sense of the deeper meaning here any job is yours, anything you can imagine, is yours. Isn’t that an incredible thought? You’ll know exactly what the person with the ability to hire you is looking for and if it suits you, you can give it to them with no hesitations or awkward/self conscious thoughts and feelings. Jobs are crucial stepping stones to building the empires we were born to create. Remember that when you are willingly to become the submissive to ones higher in command than you and let it make you hungry, in silence. Sometimes, it’s the easiest path to what you desire.

If you are going to spend even a moment of your waking life a slave, take pride in it and be the best damn slave they ever saw in whatever your chosen field is. Make sure when you move to be their equals they remember how proud you were of your position, and politely and professionally let them know, that time has now passed. They can accept it, or drown in their own limitations. The choice is theirs, let them make it.

You will know that if you want something, you can achieve it and so your air of confidence will work wonders on people’s perception of you. Most jobs aren’t about how much experience you have, or if the guy going for the job ahead of you has a degree and you don’t even have a diploma. Most companies are looking for one simple thing, someone to do the job, to accomplish the tasks, and to make the workload easier for everyone else. Especially the people above them. Become the problem solver at any company and the top is only the starting place for you and your achievements.

See, common sense isn’t that common because people always do the ‘what if’ thing and that only adds to the downward spiral of self doubt and fear of ‘failure’. Granted, realizing all the pros and cons when making any moves in business are crucial to the over all success of the company, but you cannot let the fear of conventional thoughts and ideas hold you back when making moves. It doesn’t always matter what someone else has done or is doing in the same field. You become vastly significant and valuable when you change the game in almost any industry. And if you live like that, if you live with no confinements, you’ll always be one step ahead. You’ll leave your ‘competition’ in the dust, laughing at your own craziness and lack of certainty. When you take risks it’s not about making big, stupid decisions. It’s about doing something no one has done before, or no one thought was possible and making it work for you for the success of the industry as a whole. You have to think it through.

If you’re unique in who you are and what you think, if you give into that, you’ll achieve things that no one else can. Is it really so hard to believe that you’re capable of things that no one else on the planet is?

Be unapologetically yourself wherever you go and whatever you do to find out for sure. You can test your own theories here, you’re not a child anymore. No need to take my word for it, give it a go and see how high you can soar in your own uncertainties. The sky isn’t the limit anymore, the universe is… and a far as we know, it could be limitless.

In our lifetime, I wanna test that theory.

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #7…

Check your emotions  …at the door.

You hear me? …at the door. No, I’m being serious. This is not a game of emotions. If it were then it wouldn’t be a fuckin Roster. It’d be someone you want to be exclusive with, or were at least considering it. Which means you should re-evaluate your objectives, your priorities, and your desires to find better clarity. And this goes back to Rule #1: Honesty. You have to be honest with yourself first, and if you’re catching feelings for someone you should think seriously about how much you care for them, and if you come to the conclusion that it’s more than just sex and friendship, if you really want them for your own, if you want to grow and build with them, then make the moves to see if it’s something they want as well. And still, you have to check your emotions at the door. Here’s the simple reason why:

You got into this with an understanding at the very least, and an agreement at the most of simple, no strings attached sex. So if you want to change that understanding because it’s evolved for you, you have to be honest and upfront about that. This isn’t one of those, ‘oh we don’t have to talk about it’ things, that’s child’s play. How many times do I have to tell you to Step Your Game Up?! You can’t just start acting differently and hope everything works out, then you’re emotionally vulnerable to them reacting apart from how you expect them to react. Cut the shit and check your emotions at the door. Have enough respect for them to sit down and talk to them as a fellow adult about what you want.

If you don’t want it to get awkward as you try and maneuver your way into a guy’s life, try just telling him straight up that you want more, or whatever you want. Just ask for it! Best case scenario, he says yes and you find out if it’s what you really want. Worst case scenario, he says no and then really all you have to do is make the decision if you want him like you have him, or if you can’t be with him at all anymore because it causes you emotional hardship. Again, do you see how you maintain control of your emotions at all times and the most crucial thing is to keep the power in fulfilling your own happiness?

This isn’t rocket science guys, and it isn’t the kind of game where you can give up the control of your emotions to someone. Like I hinted before, if it is that kind of game then you’re playing with your potential King, tread carefully… and we’ll be getting to that soon enough in the Conclusion of The Rules Pt.1 & Pt.2, where I’m gunna break down the concepts of running a roster on a psychological level, the why’s behind it and how to lay the rules out so they fit to your particular set of desires. I’ll be outsourcing and talking to some of my friends and acquaintances that I know play this game magnificently. I’ll be laying it bare for you guys to see what kind of light they can shed on the Rules. This can’t just be from my point of view or it won’t be achieving it’s maximum potential, so I’m bringing in some sly experts at running rosters. From fellow bartenders to 9-5ers who never followed the American Dream and remain free from dictatorship and live on their own terms. It’s gunna be a deliciously juicy couple of weeks in The Art Of Seduction guys, jus sayin. (Ya might wanna hit that follow button. I’ll wait here.)

Enough self promotion for now, let’s get back to it. I hate to make it seem so manipulative, but only because the word and the ideas behind this tactic hold such stigma, otherwise I’m all for it, but I suppose experience and history must do their part in ‘educating’ us. (PS. manipulation at it’s finest). In my mind it all comes down to integrity, where does the heart lie or the motive start, but this is how it is for life in general, not just your sex life… so I’ll leave that alone for now. Moving on. I’m super emotional today… can you guys tell? I feel feisty as fuck!

Rule #7: Check Your Emotions …at the door. It’s one of the hardest to maintain control of, forsure, the heart wants what it wants. And I won’t ever suggest that you ignore your emotions but rather understand that you have to be the one to protect your emotional needs, to care for them, and nurture them, because make no mistake… if you’re running a roster, you’re alone. And you’re not just single, you’re alone by choice. It’s almost like you’re making a statement when you fuck more than one guy at a time. You’re saying, “I choose to be alone.”

For me, at least it’s not the fear of commitment that keeps me running game, it’s got nothing to do with fear at all actually. It’s about pleasure if anything, but it hasn’t always been that way. Certainly had to do with fear of commitment and getting hurt in my younger years, but as soon as I became aware of my desires, as a whole, I understood my mind and my heart and my soul. I knew, I was always looking for Him… I just believe in that undying, unfaltering, unwavering, forever kinda love. And until I find it, I won’t commit. I don’t wanna lie to someone and tell them I love them and they’re my mate for life when I know it’s not true. So for me, there’s no point in being in a committed relationship if there’s no longevity involved. I’d rather be free and get those same comforts with whom ever I choose. But that’s just me, it doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way for you. The weirdest part for me, I still love occasionally, and even sometimes on a grand scale, but still there’s something missing… And I know, it’s better sometimes to love outside the box.

That’s me checking my emotions. When I love one of my boys, and I do love them sometimes… it’s because I respect them, and they’ve shown me loyalty, and I adore the way they treat me, and.. the list goes on. This differs for a lot of people, we all have our own version of love and affection and we definitely all have our own needs and desires. We connect when we find people that have similar desires and needs. That’s how we form bonds.

I’ve had some really incredible connections and I know I’ll have more. The only thing I can say about this rule, from my own experience is, be real about who you are, how you feel, and how you connect and/or love. It’s a feeling, and a very good one, if you are only willing to let it be. Sometimes it’s fleeting, and sometimes it lasts decades. But one thing is certain, if you never try to connect or you lie to yourself about how you feel, or you manipulate to get what you want without caring about the people you hurt, you will miss out on some pretty amazing moments in life, love, and sex.

These are my personal notes and experiences analyzed and researched and played with for over a decade. I really hope they’re valuable resources to help you get what you want, and everything you need to satisfy your sexual desires, and even bring your fantasies to life. No fear Ladies (& Gents, I suppose. Never really thought too much about male readers, but thank you for following along!) Remember: Be Unapologetic About Your Desires. (Rules for Dominating Life: Rule #1).

Comment below guys if you have any questions or thoughts about The Rules. I love to hear from you guys and hear all your stories and I’m happy to answer any questions about the ideas expressed here!

Until next time,
Go fuck yourself San Diego. <–means, a whale’s vagina (Incase you didn’t know, don’t worry, I got chu.)

E

We Love Cake

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” So they say. I duno who ‘they’ is, but I know they talk bullshit like this way too often.

Today I’m gunna tear this down in layman’s terms so we can get a deeper understanding of why you should aim for not just getting your cake and eating it too but having every kind of cake you can dream about and more importantly why you shouldn’t listen to anyone still stuck in the mentality that abundance is hard to come by. It’s a lie and it’ll do nothing but keep you stagnant. The great lie is ‘there isn’t enough for everyone’ and so all of life’s luxuries are meant only for a small group of people, selectively not your dumb, undeserving, ungrateful ass. Haaa. What a crock!

I grew up rebellious with my middle finger in the air to anyone who felt I wasn’t smart enough, or lucky enough, or basically wasn’t capable enough for a plethora of reasons, I’m sure, none of which having anything to do with me. My favourite of which being that I’m just a poor, helpless female who should be happy in finding a man to take care of her… grandparents, gotta love ‘em. No, seriously you gotta love ‘em or they’ll beat you with their damn slipper!

Annnyways, like I was saying, I have always been and will probably always be more than willing to stand aside from the crowd, no matter how lonely it can be. And trust me, for all of you new to unconventional thinking and breaking the barriers you’ve allowed around you for far too long, this is a lonely path to travel. I can promise you this though, the people that do make their way into your life will leave you breathless at times based on sheer understanding and bonds formed of similar souls. It’s magnificent, truly.

Those are the most precious moments, when you’ve decided to give in to all your dreams and starting making moves to live you life for yourself and you begin to see all your desires coming to fruition… you have people attracted to your life socially, personally and professionally. Together you build magnificently, and one day you just wake up and realize your cake tastes damnnn good. It doesn’t feel unconventional at all, instead everything you love and create feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. It’s invigorating and thrilling, it keeps you sharp and ever learning. It excites you like nothing you could ever have imagined and it challenges you in ways you never dreamed you could succeed with such joy and ease.

I don’t know about you, but if there’s even a chance of living all of the above, I’m going for it. Full steam ahead! Wtf else am I gunna do? Am I the only one out there bored as fuck? I need thrilling adventures in business and creative achievements in art, and fierce passion in my sex and love life all simultaneously to even scratch the smallest itch of fulfillment and satisfaction. I’m workin’ on this on the daily, are you? Am I the only one that feels this way?

Seize the moment. Don’t you wanna be unforgettable? Then be brave. Just a moment can change everything.

You’ve seen it, you’ve felt it for yourself. It’s easier for us to remember the tragic ones, the worst moments that changed our lives forever afterwards but there are incredible moments too and these are the moments we should remember and cherish.

The moments worth striving for are the moments that can change the game forever.

In a mere second your life can change forever and you can feel as if everything you ever desired was suddenly already yours, even if you haven’t gotten it yet. The question is, how do we achieve these euphoric moments consistently and continue them into the unknown?

It’s easier than you might think and we’re going to shred this one until it’s clear. No theories without evidence here. We’re going to test the theory until we create our greatest desires, together.

E

Bare Your Soul

The darkness in your will never go away, your desires will never give up their torment on your mind… the struggle and fear you hold from not believing you can achieve your greatest dreams and deepest desires is never going to stop.

You might as well just give in to them. Is it really such a terrifying thought? The path being laid out before you? It is ever molding and ever transforming to be the perfect path from here to your dreams, must you always be fighting against this? Do you enjoy feeling lack and constant defeat?

So, get it through your head then… everything you want is possible. The beauty is, you have to believe that without being able to see or know how it is possible. You must find comfort in the uncertainties of life. Until you do this, you will be without, you will struggle and you will live in constant misery and fear. Talk about needing faith!

If, however, you find your faith in magic and you do truly start to believe miracles are possible for you to create and experience you’ll find yourself surprised by how grateful you can feel for these ‘coincidences’ that continue to occur to you. You will begin to soar higher and higher. The possibilities are endless, and even the sky will expand to fit your limits.

And they have always been and will always be only and simply that… your limits.

Bare your soul to the universe and it will respond with magic like you’ve never seen before, this I promise you.

This is gunna be a big week with lots of juicy content and new topics of conversation. Dig in deep friends and don’t be shy to comment and start a conversation with me about anything I’ve written or anything you’re struggling with. I will probably understand you better than you can imagine. For such a young woman, I have quite a lot of experience in life. What have you got to lose?

Hope to hear from you all in time, but you’re welcome to quietly follow along until you’re comfortable to open up on this platform. I will be here, patiently waiting and always speaking to you through our chosen link.

 

E

Weekend Vibes: I Find Comfort In Uncertainty

My secret today isn’t laced up with all things sexy, unless of course you have enough of a mind to find intelligence and logic sexy… like me. No arrogance here, just a bit of fun. Besides, I gave you a gorgeous behind to scroll up and visualize if you’re craving sexuality. To me, the sexiest thing I could ever achieve is glamorous success. To have my cake and eat it too, in the most unconventional way possible, for that is me, and that is what I desire.

I have done everything I preach on here to do. I have laid out and clarified all my desires, I believe in what I want and why I want it, and I’m making strategic and confident moves towards my goals everyday. You have to be grateful for where you are at this very moment, or slowly (and sometimes very quickly) you have to watch everything you ever took for granted slip through your fingers… lost to the past.

I’ve always believed I could imagine my future into existence, or simply put, that I could have anything I desired. I always believed that since I was a little girl. I understood that the big picture will always be the only thing that mattered, but it’s hard sometimes to be alone in a thought with as many options and possibilities as that, endless really, limitless.

So how did I know I could have anything I ever wanted, what lead me to believe it? I was so young when I thought it, knew it for the first time. I maybe be a Pisces and a dreamer by nature, but it’s not my frivolous, and unmatched ability to wonder and imagine that got me into believing anything was possible. Believe it or not, it was the logical and realistic part of my brain that brought me to the inevitable conclusion that no one can prove otherwise, so why the hell not believe in the impossible?!

It sure makes life a lot more exciting! And if no one can prove that it’s impossible, then there’s no need to think otherwise, realistically. If it makes you happy to believe something is possible and potentially makes the world a better place to prove it, then I say go for it!

If there really is a reason for each and every one of us, a true purpose for the greater good then I say that’s probably the closest you’ll ever be to yours, in that very moment when you decide to believe in something everyone else thinks is impossible may be possible only for you even… then you’re really onto something.

Your belief in yourself, in your ideas, will gain momentum and you’ll destroy all barriers you previously held as limits. Gone. Forever. You’ll feel power and freedom like you’ve never even imagined and you’ll start to vibrate differently in this world. You’ll attract things and people differently. Your life will change so quickly you’ll hardly notice how far you’ve come, which is why I think it’s crucial that you vibrate through appreciation and gratitude as often as you can manage it. It will help you keep balanced when the height your new found wings takes you soaring so high you fear the inevitable balance of a low. They say what goes up must come down right? So balance yourself out before the downward plunge, humble yourself or have karma do it for you. As always, it’s your choice.

Life is all about balance, we all know this, but how often do we implement it into our daily lives? Do you think about your own balance and the balance of the world, the balance of the universe with every move you make, no matter how mundane? You should, if you don’t. Keep that big picture in mind, keep your awareness sharp and focused and with that in place you’re free to have some real fun. You can create miracles, mediocre and epic alike. You’re free to play with magic. Real magic. Can you imagine that?

These ideas, these theories aren’t going to be anything new for a lot of people but if they’re new to you, my only advice right this minute is try to keep an open mind. No, actually my advice is think about it. Really think about what I’m saying to you… Is it the most illogical thing you’ve ever heard? Isn’t it mildly intriguing?

It isn’t really a secret anymore, The Law Of Attraction, stating simply that you create your world as you go along by attracting things to you as a magnet does. It’s actually quite a simple concept but for some reason, even the best of us have been moulded and tainted enough to find is so difficult to believe that we can have anything we desire.

I’ll tell you now, nothing is too grand, nothing is out of reach for you. I don’t care who you are or where you come from, you can have anything you desire. Once you start to feel this on a deep and foundational level within yourself, you’ll know there’s no need to be anxious or worried, you will find comfort in the uncertainties of this game we call life. It’s a journey and one hell of a ride… if you make it. It’s your choice. One day, when this is all at it’s end, you’ll know that.

Don’t wait until that moment to learn it. Trust your heart, trust your logic. Believe in yourself, and make magic happen. You got this. I’m with you. We’re looking for all the hedonists out there… the people who have lifted the veil, or at least peeked…  the ones who want to make a real difference and want it to be an extraordinary and luxurious journey… this life.

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #6…

‘Be unapologetic about your desires.’

Ok I’ma get right into it… dig in y’all this is gunna be a good one.

I was recently asked why I run a roster, a great question and an honest one too, so it really got me thinking about the concept. Not necessarily for myself but in a general sense for the benefit of others because I realize that some people might assume there’s something missing in my life and my intentions for sleeping with more than one guy at a time on the regular comes from some deep-rooted insecurity, lack of affection, or some other life trauma that stuck with me and caused me to shy away from commitments or serious relationships… But the truth is much simpler than that analysis of the human consciousness, so I’m going to start there.

Let me tell you a story that I think will break it down for you a bit before I tell you my personal reasons for running a roster because I think we can all relate to the reasoning behind my ‘Roster Games & Rules’. This is going to be the prelude to The Conclusion of The Rules, coming very soon in The Art Of Seduction category of this blog, posted Wednesday’s, where we thoroughly examine and observe basic human desire when it comes to sexual satisfaction.

This is a peek into the consciousness if you’re the type that really analyzes human behaviour and the why’s behind people’s actions (like me).

When I was young I was always very interested in sexuality, and sexual desire, and the concept of sexiness. I felt sexual desire in me at a very young age, and being raised in an open and free loving family I never shied away from these feelings. I am Canadian born and raised with no religion chosen for me, that’s what I mean when I say I’m from an open and free loving family. I have freedoms that maybe you don’t, or didn’t and I recognize that I am very blessed to have a choice in these matters, that’s half the reason I’m here, but more on that later. (Quick note: Please don’t be afraid to comment below if you want to speak on anything I’ve written about. I am here.)

Back to it… I gave into my sexual appetite and always, for as long as I can remember, have played with myself. I reached orgasm for the first time when I was 8 or 9 maybe earlier. By the time I was in my early teens, 13, I craved orgasms and could achieve them quickly. My sexual appetite grew and I started exploring my body and all the sensations I could create, from fantasizing and deep visual meditations of desire, to physical masturbation and reaching orgasm. I knew long before anyone told me that females could have more than one kind of orgasm and I knew my body well enough to play with the variety of orgasms I could achieve.

When I was 16 I was desperate to have sex, although I didn’t have anyone around me I could picture myself sleeping with, until I moved to another town. I remember when my mom asked me which high school I wanted to go to in said new town, as I had an option between two. I knew nothing about either of the school and I thought, how am I ever going to decide?! And then it hit me, whichever school I chose was going to have the first boy I’d ever sleep with (more than likely). So I found out which school had the best football team, and the rest is history.

Think what you will of that mentality, but it’s how I made my decision. It wasn’t the most important decision I made about my virginity, trust me, but you know me… I’m gunna tell you what was!

When I started really thinking about sex, and love, and life, and relationships, I knew I didn’t want to give my virginity to someone I was going to be in a relationship with, or even someone I was going to have emotional attachment to. Hear me out. This idea started a year or so prior I’d say. I’d never had a boyfriend, I’d hardly done more than kissed a boy, and I wanted the first guy I ever slept with to be someone I could have great sex with for years, with real longevity. I had separated the two things without even realizing I’d done it. Emotions and Sex became two different sets of desires.

It suddenly seemed too complicated to try and find love as well as great sex. Even as naive as I was about sex and love, I knew at that age it didn’t seem realistic to achieve both.

I separated sex and love/emotions at a very young age, maybe subconsciously, I don’t know it was a long time ago but by the time I was ready to have sex I knew I wasn’t ready to be in a loving, committed relationship. So right then and there I decided the only thing I wanted from my first sexual partner was someone I could have great sex with forever, or at least until one of us was married or with children, or whatever really. Simple, exciting, raw sex. I wanted to be able to fuck for a long time without any need for a committed relationship and all the complicated feelings and emotions that came with it. Friendship would be the ultimate goal if emotions got involved after a few years.

I was all sensation and raging hormones, like anyone at that age. My body was changing, I was experiencing so many new feelings and complicated emotions, there was no way I was gunna look for someone to fill that void and bring me balance. I knew emotionally, I had to work on myself, for myself, by myself. But physically, no no no. No more solo ventures. I was ready to experience another. And so I did. I found him, and I fucked him… for years… and years. Success!

I can’t say it worked out exactly as I hoped, because there were some serious complications regardless of my lack of emotional attachment and strategic ways of thinking, obviously, I suppose. Emotions and sex kind of go hand in hand, but I learned to put my feelings aside, knowing (in this case) that they weren’t authentically aimed at the person I was projecting them towards. More so, they were ever present in my romanticisms and I had no intention of passing off that part of me to just anyone.

Of course I felt emotions towards my first. Of course there were some rocky moments when one of us was sleeping with another person that was in the same school, or same social circle (See Rule #2: Respect The Boundaries), and we learned the hard way to be more careful if we really cared about each other’s feelings, which we did because neither of us was willing to give the other up. It’s not a simple choice when you’re in it. Of course there’s more to it than I could ever describe in one post, but if you can put it all together in your mind you can understand the simplicity of something so complicated. I chose to do what I wanted, when I wanted and started laying out the groundwork (or the rules) to do my best to prevent people from getting hurt, including myself.

Over the last two years of high school we pretty much worked out all the kinks (at least in this relationship or lack there of) and to this day we still fuck. It’s been over a decade and we still desire each other, and more importantly we still don’t feel the need to be ‘more serious’ about our relationship. I can’t say I have no love for him at all, that would be a bold faced lie. Through all the years of lust a strong bond has formed, and if such respect and loyalty isn’t a piece of love then I’m a very confused young woman. The simple fact is, he and I have never been on a traditional date, we’ve never worried over ‘taking the next step’ in our relationship, and most importantly, we’ve put behind us the auto response of lies when there’s something difficult to discuss. We know each other, and we care about each other, and behind closed doors we don’t keep secrets, we are the secret. There is a level there no one else can touch. A floor in the condo of life that remains ours alone.

Do you believe some people are good for each other in some ways but never meant to be together? Is that really such a difficult concept to understand and is it so vile and repulsive that it’s not even worth entertaining that type of connection between man and woman, boy and girl, etc.? We as women are just as raw and primal as any man. We’re all beautifully human, so why not play with all our desires? Why hold back? Morally, draw your lines and move forward, living your life and learning your lessons and boundaries at the peak of your ability.

If I had never given in to my desire to be physical with this guy because I knew we’d never have a long term ‘relationship’, I might never have experienced all that pleasure and joy, might never have formed that lifelong bond. I might never have learned that I can sleep with more than just him and still respect him and even have loyalty and love for him, with absolutely no desire to be committed to him. Damn, we might never have learned how well our little arrangement really worked out for us both, how much we enjoyed it. I would have missed out on a lot of great moments and personally I wouldn’t go back and change it. I found a new level of connection to another at a young age, and it was everything I thought it could be and much, much more.

I’m one of the few women I know that can honestly say I don’t regret my first sexual experience or partner. I planned it well, I knew what I wanted, and most importantly I was realistic about my expectations. (See Rule #4: Check Your Expectations)

What are the chances that the first person you sleep with at the age of 16 or 18, or whatever age is going to be the only person you’ll ever commit too, the only person you’ll ever sleep with, and the only person you’ll ever love? Seriously though…?

You can shut down all desires for other people and commit to one person from the start, sure. I believe that 100% because human willpower is extraordinary, but is that really what you want, or is that just what you think you should want? If you want that, that one commitment from the get go then all the power to you. I think a good balance always exists in human nature, so my views aren’t going to be relevant to everyone, I just think it’s relevant and crucial information for the majourity. I wish more people were willing to openly converse, in depth and detail, about their own personal human desires and sexual appetites, but I guess I wouldn’t be here writing to you about it if that were the case, and you wouldn’t be here devouring the information like you are either. So I can be thankful for the lifetime of experiences that has brought me to you and you to me, to explain and possibly give you someone to relate too so you don’t have to feel alone.

I never had that, I don’t think anyone should have to go through such intense emotions and feelings alone. It’s hard to be the outsider or to feel like no one understands you when something feels so natural to you, but I’m here, being awesome and living my fuckin’ dreams. You should too, whatever your dreams are, wherever they take you. I knew from the beginning I would want more… that I would want it all, to connect, to love, to desire, to taste more than one in this short life, without a doubt.

So why do I run a roster?

Well, like I’ve stated before, I think we’re all looking for that one person we can love and spend the rest of our lives with… but while we wait, why not live our lives in the moment and experience some truly deep and sensual connections, even if we don’t want to be with these lovers forever or sometimes even a year. Even if you don’t want to love them, even if you don’t have any emotion towards them at all you can still desire a taste, can’t you? If they’re just as intrigued of course. (See Rule #5: Patience is your only choice).

Haven’t you ever been physically attracted to someone that you don’t really care for as a person? Maybe their personality just isn’t your thing but the desire to be physical with them is grand, more than just good looks, but genuine physical, electric chemistry. Mmm, just thinkin’ about it gets me excited.

Here’s how I look at it:

Lust has a scale. You can feel all different levels of lust for a person or an object, but let’s keep this specific to people for now.

Love also has a scale. You can feel love for friends, family and a partner, all of which land at different points on the scale.

I believe a soul mate, or your true love, will sit at the top of the Love & Lust Scales. This is what most people picture when they think of fairytale love, undying, unfaltering, till death and beyond kind of love. Well, I believe in it. I believe your mate is out there and more importantly that it’s very real and very realistic to receive that kind of love in this lifetime.

Since I was a little girl I knew I wouldn’t settle for anything less, that “only the deepest love would persuade me into matrimony.” (Pride & Prejudice)

So why would I commit or be in any kind of exclusive relationship if I know he isn’t that man? Honestly, that’s how I’ve hurt men the most in my life, I couldn’t’ look him in his eyes and tell him it wasn’t enough for me, that it wasn’t that love for me and therefore wouldn’t be enough. I know now that the only right choice in these moments, when I want to be with someone but I know it’s not the deepest love, is to give him a choice. Tell him the truth and give him the choice.

Of course I could be wrong and maybe the kind of love I believe in isn’t something that’s love at first sight, but I wonder then why so many great poets, literates and artists have described such a love… day dreams for 30 minutes about love and forgets train of thought. Nah, it’s real, I’ve never doubted that.

Some may think my standards are too high, but I have to say I enjoy my choices fully. I have connected to some lovers on deep and foundational levels and I don’t think if I had tried to fit those relationships into the carefully drawn boxes of society and the masses and even most of my own family of what a relationship should be I would have been as successful in the intense and beautiful bonds I formed. I couldn’t give that up, even with all the mistakes, and crushed emotions, it’s still so beautiful to me… so human and natural.

Some people just aren’t meant to be together forever, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of our souls that will connect with theirs. You just have to be brave enough to be honest with yourself about how you really feel, no matter what your family, or society, or anyone says about how you should act.

There’s no such thing as how you should act anymore. There’s right and there’s wrong. If you’re hurting people or yourself you’re doing something wrong, simple as that. And there’s no book on the subject breaking down the rules of life. You know the difference between right and wrong like we all do. And trust me, we all do. You can be brainwashed into believing something different, but the feelings are there, deep below the surface, screaming for you to wake up and take notice.
Simply put, I run a roster because I can.

Check RULE #7: ‘theFinalRule: Check Your Emotions… at the door.’

E

Rules of Running A Roster: Rule #5…

‘Patience is your only choice.’

The Rules of Running A Roster are simple, you have to set your personal boundaries and know what you’re trying to achieve at all times if you want to find any kind of satisfaction when sleeping with more than one person on the regular. It’s a game you play for yourself, and it’s a very selfish one at that, but you have to have compassion for the people you bring into your world or you’ll find karma teaching you some very harsh lessons. You have to be genuine and honest about what you desire, or you’ll never get it.

The concepts are simple enough but you have to understand on a foundational level that you can’t control other’s actions or desires. You can’t guarantee that people will treat you a certain way just because you treat them good. But therein lies the plus side to being selfish, you have the power at any time to walk away, no strings attached. So it’s a simple decision to make, really. The more you simplify in your sex life, the better you will feel and the more satisfaction you will find.

So, once you’ve got the first 3 Rules in place, the 4th one: ‘Check Your Expectations’ will allow you to dig deeper into your mind and clarify all your needs and desires. When you understand what it is you’re looking for on a grand scale, you can simplify and start to attract people to satisfy these cravings of sex and lust in your day to day life. You’re looking for love like we all are, but in the meantime, let’s have some fun, shall we?

You’ve deciphered your deepest and darkest desires, and now you’re on the prowl, looking at everyone who passes you in a whole new light, wondering what they taste like, how they’d feel between your thighs and what they smell like when they fuck. Fair enough. But what happens when you aren’t finding anyone to satisfy these cravings, when weeks or even months pass and you haven’t tasted a single soul…

What do you do when your desires take control, yet continue go unsatisfied?

I’ll tell you first and foremost what you DON’T do…

You DON’T change course. You DON’T lower your standards. And you DON’T settle for someone you already know will be a disappointment, for any reason. Just don’t do it. Patience is your only choice here if you are serious about evolving into something greater than just another beautiful woman in the seemingly endless pool of available women out there.

If you’re struggling and it’s making you miserable, you need to dig deeper into your mind, into your heart, and into your soul to pin point why you feel such lack. You are responsible for you own emotional satisfaction and happiness, and when you feel lack it is not lack of fulfilling your desire, it is lack of clarity and probably a lack of belief that you will achieve all that you desire in it’s fullness. You must stay the course, keep your eyes focused with precision on your goals to be satisfied and fulfilled in your sexual appetite. It is possible, I promise you this.

To find clarity, the first thing you must do is clear your mind of your sexual desires. This is a reference of one of my personal secrets, which you can find in Weekend Vibes, where I open theVault and share some of my private thoughts and actions that I use to stay powerful and sexy, always. This is just for you, I’ve never shared this outside of my inner circle before, but I think it is necessary here, where we can help you get closer to your dreams and fantasies in reality. After all, your fantasies are not as perfect in reality as you can imagine them in your mind, but they are exquisite in their imperfections. Again, you cannot control another persons actions and reactions towards you in any situation with guarantees, but you can sway them in your favour when they are meant to be expressed. You’ll learn to spread an idea or a vibe with powerful impacts, and you’ll learn to just as easily let an idea go, or better still, let it evolve. Allow yourself to evolve, alwaysss.

When you keep your expectations crystal clear in your mind you hold the power to see them fulfilled. You can desire things until the end of time but until you believe them possible, and move to achieve them you will never see them come to fruition. With patience you know in your soul that you will be satisfied in all your desires, and you patiently await their arrival. You will know by your instincts what is right for you and what isn’t. I’m not saying you won’t make mistakes, we all do, but you will learn. You will find the clarity for your true desires in your fuck ups. Haaa, fuck. We all fall, trust me on this. We all fall.

Your boundaries are in place for a reason, and they will shift as you grow and move outside of your original comfort zone. When you take control of your sexuality in all of it deepest and darkest corners… when you fuck more than one person consistently, you play a game of many risks, so you have to take control and stay aware of the consequences of your actions. You’ll be the one taking them from here on out. Consequences, the original propoganda placed on Cause & Effect. You can’t get overly excited and throw it all to the wind because you’re having so much fun, or worse, you’re not having any fun at all. Stay focused and happiness will be yours, sexual satisfaction will be yours, and everything your sick little mind can dream up will turn to reality and fulfillment will be yours. Be brave and live with a fuckin’ code. Intention is everything.

Patience is your ONLY choice. And I’ll tell you a little secret, just for fun, (cuz patience has never been my strong suit, especially if you know me personally, ha!) the more patient you are the quicker you see your desires come to life. More on that later.

Check RULE #6: ‘Be Unapologetic About Your Desires’

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