We Love Cake

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” So they say. I duno who ‘they’ is, but I know they talk bullshit like this way too often.

Today I’m gunna tear this down in layman’s terms so we can get a deeper understanding of why you should aim for not just getting your cake and eating it too but having every kind of cake you can dream about and more importantly why you shouldn’t listen to anyone still stuck in the mentality that abundance is hard to come by. It’s a lie and it’ll do nothing but keep you stagnant. The great lie is ‘there isn’t enough for everyone’ and so all of life’s luxuries are meant only for a small group of people, selectively not your dumb, undeserving, ungrateful ass. Haaa. What a crock!

I grew up rebellious with my middle finger in the air to anyone who felt I wasn’t smart enough, or lucky enough, or basically wasn’t capable enough for a plethora of reasons, I’m sure, none of which having anything to do with me. My favourite of which being that I’m just a poor, helpless female who should be happy in finding a man to take care of her… grandparents, gotta love ‘em. No, seriously you gotta love ‘em or they’ll beat you with their damn slipper!

Annnyways, like I was saying, I have always been and will probably always be more than willing to stand aside from the crowd, no matter how lonely it can be. And trust me, for all of you new to unconventional thinking and breaking the barriers you’ve allowed around you for far too long, this is a lonely path to travel. I can promise you this though, the people that do make their way into your life will leave you breathless at times based on sheer understanding and bonds formed of similar souls. It’s magnificent, truly.

Those are the most precious moments, when you’ve decided to give in to all your dreams and starting making moves to live you life for yourself and you begin to see all your desires coming to fruition… you have people attracted to your life socially, personally and professionally. Together you build magnificently, and one day you just wake up and realize your cake tastes damnnn good. It doesn’t feel unconventional at all, instead everything you love and create feels like the most natural thing in the world to you. It’s invigorating and thrilling, it keeps you sharp and ever learning. It excites you like nothing you could ever have imagined and it challenges you in ways you never dreamed you could succeed with such joy and ease.

I don’t know about you, but if there’s even a chance of living all of the above, I’m going for it. Full steam ahead! Wtf else am I gunna do? Am I the only one out there bored as fuck? I need thrilling adventures in business and creative achievements in art, and fierce passion in my sex and love life all simultaneously to even scratch the smallest itch of fulfillment and satisfaction. I’m workin’ on this on the daily, are you? Am I the only one that feels this way?

Seize the moment. Don’t you wanna be unforgettable? Then be brave. Just a moment can change everything.

You’ve seen it, you’ve felt it for yourself. It’s easier for us to remember the tragic ones, the worst moments that changed our lives forever afterwards but there are incredible moments too and these are the moments we should remember and cherish.

The moments worth striving for are the moments that can change the game forever.

In a mere second your life can change forever and you can feel as if everything you ever desired was suddenly already yours, even if you haven’t gotten it yet. The question is, how do we achieve these euphoric moments consistently and continue them into the unknown?

It’s easier than you might think and we’re going to shred this one until it’s clear. No theories without evidence here. We’re going to test the theory until we create our greatest desires, together.

E

Impossible Is Nothing

Monday’s are for cleansing, I stated this last week in I’m What You Need, but this week we’re going to get into it with more detail.

We all have aspects of our lives where we want to improve, be stronger and more disciplined. Some are small and seemingly insignificant to the outside world (socially acceptable) but important to us none the less and others really affect our lives and we wish we had the strength to make the changes necessary to become better. I’m here to tell you that nothing you’re worried about is as difficult as it seems. Mind over matter, that’s the only thing relevant here.

Your mind, your thoughts, are so powerful it can feel daunting to try and gain control of, but it’s not something you need to fear or become frustrated with. It’s your mind, and you can do anything you like with it. Don’t ever let anyone make you believe that you can only use a certain amount of your brain, for any reason. Who is anyone to tell you you cannot use a part of yourself?! That’s the surest way to stump your evolution and the evolution of human beings as a whole, so ignore this jibberish. Moving on.

If you will it, anything is possible. Believe that and you will feel your own power and witness it take form in the physical world right before your eyes. Don’t take my word for it, test the theory for yourself. I was not always so open to these unconventional thoughts, or more accurately I did not always believe until I saw and felt the proof for myself. So I will not do more to convince you, you must take the responsibility of proving it into your own hands and try for yourself. When you feel the creation of your desires, when you have extraordinary days so consistently that you can hardly fathom the coincidence of it all, you will know your true power and the sway you hold over the world around you.

The beginning of the week is when we sit and clearly lay out our goals and desires, shift our priorities if necessary and choose our focus for the week(s) to follow. Living spherically will help with any stagnation or frustration you find amongst your goals and desires, and it allows easy patience. And this is so important. I was never a patient woman, my desires have always been leading my ambitions but patience became a powerful tool in my vast arsenal. I mean, if you categorize your life you will find different perspectives and different desires, all of which are crucial to gaining the life of your dreams wholly, to becoming the Beast Of A Woman you know you are.

We all have the same basic desires and needs for fulfilment, so if you’d like help breaking down the different aspects of basic desire in your life check out ‘If You Win The Rat Race You’re Still Just A Fucking Rat.’ It gives a good description of how to start understanding and separating your needs and wants, and how to keep a clear and distinct focus on what’s truly important to your happiness and overall pleasure.

You can have goals and desires for each of these categories of your life, and when you have a weekly focus, they will naturally prioritize themselves to get you to your goals as quickly and efficiently as possible. If one desire goes stagnant simply move on to another that feels thrilling and gets you to a vibrational high again. You need not reach all your goals on time, you must simply keep moving forward with the openness to accept that your desires may not be what you thought exactly. And please understand me, I’m not saying you won’t always be able to achieve your desires, I’m saying you won’t always know what your desires actually are, they evolve. Especially when you get really good at moving in a high vibrational frequency, you’re going into uncharted territory, at least for you, so keep an open mind, an open heart, believe in this feeling. So when something does not come to you the way you wanted it to, or when you seem to not be getting what you want, let it go for a moment and trust in the uncertainty of the situation, I promise you that your true desires will never miss you. All you have to do is follow your energy, follow your bliss and all the you desire will be yours.

How can I make it so you will trust, how can I explain it so you will believe? I cannot. I can only tell you what I have felt, witnessed, and experienced for myself and you must find your own strength to agree or disagree, to be curious or to be unsatisfied with my reasoning and my beliefs. There’s always the chance I could be wrong, as well. I am only human. (Although, with my heart being where it is, I doubt this…)

I write this as much for myself as I do for all of you who find value in it. I have lived all of it, I have felt it for myself, but I also know deep down in my core that there is more value in these words than even I realize sometimes, so it is my responsibility to keep an open mind to you as well. This is a place for community and for discretion. We are all raw on the inside, and I ask everyone to please respect this space as such. With all the love in my soul I am here to help, in any way I can. Please feel free to speak your mind in the comments section, I would love to know what you’d like to hear from of, what troubles you, and what sets your soul ablaze.

E

2015: Pampered Queen

Pamper yourself.

Whether you go to the salon and get your hair done, or the nail bar to get your nails done, or the spa for a massage and body wrap, it is so important that you designate chunks of time every week just for you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much it lifts your spirits and the extra energy it gives you so you can give more back to the people around you that you love. You will feel sexier and that energy is extremely powerful.

There’s something in the saying ‘give to yourself first’ that has resonated with me recently. I have always been a giver in my personal life, allowing people at times to suck me dry and leave me scrounging for enough emotional and physical energy to get through a single day, but once I became aware of my own energy, of my own body and it’s needs, I learned to take those minutes, hours, and sometimes entire days out for myself to ‘recharge.’ Mentally cleansing is something we should be practising on a day to day basis, but what about our physical bodies? Should not just as much care be put into them as well?

When you go to a salon you walk in and they take your coat, ask if you’d like something to drink and lead you to a comfortable place to sit with magazines and the like to wait for you stylist to greet you. You may not realize that something has changed in your surroundings and therefore your energy, but it has. You are now in an environment where people are there solely to take care of you, as you are doing for yourself, and it’s this selfless act of the people around you that makes all the difference. You have decided to call up a great salon instead of looking for the cheapest deal because you want the best for your hair and yourself and when you arrive for your appointment everyone is there to take care of you. They’re supporting your choice to pamper yourself. And this is extremely powerful for your energy. We should never downplay the impact that others have in our ives. Whether you like it or not, you cannot do it all alone. You need companionship and support, even if you’re paying for it.

A spa is the same, it’s about de-stressing and relaxation. Again, there are people designated to support and care for you as soon as you walk in the door. I can barely begin to explain how much this can effect your life and over-all health. Your energy and mentality will be balanced and brought back to neutral, you may possibly even delve into the realm of pleasure if you’re really aware of how much you’re enjoying the experience.

Your awareness plays a big role in your overall enjoyment and therefore your ability to allow these things to balance your life.

In a world as fast-paced and extreme as ours, it’s important to keep your balance, and the easiest way to do this, if you have no practise, is to pamper yourself. Go get your nails done, and your hair done. Go to a spa and have a massage or if they offer it, go for a float. All these things will keep you centred, balanced and sexy as fuuuck so you can take on the world and achieve your deepest desires and greatest dreams!

Now, I realize that some of you may not have the funds to divulge in such pleasure as going to the spa and the salon and the nail bar all in one month, so prioritize. See which one or two of these are the most important and functional in your life and make them part of your routine. As for the other things, you can always find ways to create an environment for yourself that will allow you to calm and balance your energy.

Bubble baths at home should never be under-valued. They’re great if you find a wonderful bubble bath with some aroma therapy (again my favourite is from Bath & Body Works), light a few candles, even bring in a glass of wine and just like that you’re transported anywhere you can imagine in this beautiful world of ours. Allow your mind to follow your body into relaxation.

Mani’s at home. I’ve been doing this since I was a little girl, so I’m quite good at it. If you enjoy painting and sculpting your nails, that’s an easy way to save money and still pamper yourself. Designate a night every week or two and get a good movie going, and pamper away! Great when you invite a girlfriend over and do it together.

There’s endless ways to pamper yourself and it really all depends on what you like and what you LOVE. Take the time to ask yourself what you love and let others help you in taking care of yourself. And start now. What can you easily implement into your life right now to take you to the status of Pampered Queen?

If you win the rat race, you’re still just a fuckin rat.

Have you ever seen someone attractive and thought to yourself, ‘They’re a 7,’ and then you guys start talking and all of a sudden they’re way sexier, definitely a 10? Or the opposite, when you first see someone and they’re gorgeous, an easy 9 but then they open their mouth and speak and drop to more of a 5.5? My point is, it really isn’t just about looks anymore. Not your hair, your make-up, your outfit or your Loubou’s. That’s the easy shit and if you want to step your game up, you have to look at your image spherically. Let me explain…

Being sexy as fuck is about your attitude, the way you carry yourself and your demeanour as a whole. The way you present yourself is the way you feel about yourself. And believe me, we’re all as see through as a freshly polished window. This goes for women and men alike. Men don’t have as many options for the game of illusion as women do so they are more ‘see-through’, if you will. For women, it’s an endless magic show, but don’t kid yourself, you’re probably not as good at the game as you think. But if you learn to play the game of life on a scale of greatness you can use the game of illusions to highlight your strongest virtues. Everything is a game because it’s meant to be enjoyed. Life is meant to be fun! It’s not about dishonour and disloyalty, although many choose to play that way, there is a way to play for the benefit of all, for the greatness of humanity.

It’s important to take care of your body physically, and maintain your unique look to be physically attractive, but anyone can do that. What’s really important is that you hone your most positive and ego driven energy, especially when in social settings, and in public in general. This is all about having fun and looking good so you can feel good about yourself in general and see a creative world with endless possibilities in front you of.

To do this you have to understand on a foundational level what it is to be alive. You have to know every part of yourself so that you can understand that on this level we are all alike. We have the same basic needs sure, but we also have the same basic desires. We all need to feel loved and we will all go through a bunch of emotional fuckin’ turmoil in order to become stronger and grow, learning important things about life and people, ourselves included as we go.

You have to understand that there are different parts of your life, categories if you like, and they all need certain attention for you to truly feel fulfilled and love your life. It may differ slightly for some, but I believe most people will have the same categories with the same basic needs.

Professional/Business Life: This is the part of your life where you create and build in this world, where you help others become great as well, and where you acquire your wealth (whatever it means to be wealthy to you).

Social Life: Today your social life is not just for personal use, it is also a place where you network, not always for a profit but always for the overall success of the group. Let that sink in… and remember it when posting shit on social media and always mind the fact that once something has been published or posted, there’s no taking it back.

(If you’re the CEO of a massive company that you built you may not want pictures from high school  or your early 20’s circulating amongst your industry peers 10 years down the line. Just a thought.)

Personal Life: Your personal life is where you find fulfilment in all your desires. It is entirely unique to each individual and you will make the closest friends and ally’s when you find commonalities with others in this category. Desire is a very raw and very powerful energy that sets your soul ablaze. You cannot suppress it, it will not be contained, BUT it is a lot of fun when you learn to express it on all levels. Sex does not fall in this category, although dating does, for it is not social life but a social act that does not depend solely on sex. A subtle difference that once understood makes dating fun and entertaining as opposed to stressful and awkward. Good food, good music, good company. It’s getting to know someone on a personal level, and possibly letting someone get to know you on the same level. It can be very fulfilling it you think of it more as a social one on one, rather than an analysis of one’s ability to fit into your desires. Or even more stressful, your ability to fit into theirs.

Sex Life: Your sex life does not necessarily include dating. It doesn’t even have to include another person at times. This part of your life is about physicals needs and desires. There is so much expression to be had in your sex life for it is when you are your most primal. Call it instincts, call it lust, call it anything you like, it falls into one category, sex. You can go a year without having sex and still have a sex life. If you’re not having sex AND you’re not masterbating for a year, consult a doctor immediately!! There’s definitely something wrong with you! Haaa! All kidding aside though, you need to go within to figure this one out. No Doctor is going to be able to do this part for you. Take responsibility for the way your feel. It’s not as hard as you may think to fix yourself.

Go into your mind, dig deep and find your soul, find who you really are, what you really want. From your deepest, darkest desires to your everyday wants. You need to be very open and even more honest with yourself. There’s no one listening when you’re in your head, so get good and clear in there. If you’ve lost your sexual desire or you just don’t feel the electric energy in sex anymore, you need to change something. Take the time to figure out why you don’t feel the need to cum, to have that euphoric rush all through your body, and feel everything troublesome melt away after. I believe it’s a physical necessity like eating healthy and exercising. Physical release, or orgasm is a crucial part of your overall health and happiness. Not quite as essential as breathing or sleeping because you won’t die without it, but definitely important to the fine balance of fulfilment in life.

Love Life: Ahhh, amour. Now this is more connected to the other categories than all the rest. And it’s not just about that one partner we’re all looking for, or have found. There are many different levels of love. It has a scale all on it’s own, and so does lust but we’ll get into that later. You can have mad love for a good friend, and those people will build to be your inner circle, the one’s you call family.

The reason I say this category blurs the lines the most is because you can find every different kind of love in any other area of your life and it becomes part of this category in your life. I believe when you feel love for someone, anyone, it’ll forever be part of who you are. It’ll leave it’s mark on you, and you will learn and grow from it every time, no exceptions. Even if you were burned or the love ends in catastrophe, it’ll always have been there and you need to accept the fact that you don’t get to choose. Most people can’t even admit when they have love for someone because they can’t define it, or it’s reason for existing. Again, let me say, it is not a choice. Someone you find attractive isn’t a choice either, it just happens. You are attracted to what you’re attracted to, end of story, no explanation. That’s a rule in this game, and it’s one of the unbreakable ones. There is no free will here. Your free will is the choice to act on a feeling or not, so stop with the denial and fear of attraction and love on any level and start being grateful that it’s your choice what you do and don’t do. Period.

You can decide you don’t want to have love for someone because of any reason you like but it’ll decide all on it’s own when that feeling, that love ends. You can mind fuck yourself out of it, sure, especially if the connection has a really negative impact on your life, but you have to be real with yourself about it before it even has a chance to turn into a lesson. I will explain this a lot more in depth in the months to come. You can change the things you’re attracted to if you change the foundational level of the attraction, but you have to understand that it’s not a simple process. It is as complicated as changing who you are because it is part of who you are. You can’t fight yourself, it’s a waste of time, but you can improve yourself. Say you have really shit taste in people, friends and lovers both. You know they’re bad for you but you’re attracted anyways, usually very physically attracted, explosively even. You probably describe it like a drug addiction and you’re not wrong. You’ve decided to find certain things about this person attractive. You can change yourself so you don’t find those draining things so attractive anymore and this is why I’m going to get deeper into it. We could all use a little upgrade in the quality of people we get close to.

The sooner you get real about who you have love for and on what level you love them, you’ll make the important connections stronger and with the ease of detachment you’ll see the others fade away, all on their own.

It’s a fine game of balance allowing your desires to become categorized, and the endgame will always be your own satisfaction and fulfilment. You have to be brave enough to play the game. And I’ll tell you a secret, you’re in the game whether you realize it or not. Pons are the first to go, fleeting little blips that no one even bothers to remember. They have impact, sure, they’re the front lines and while someone has command and control of when and how they die, they’re just happy to be in the game, thinking to themselves they did something honourable and worth doing for the greater good. Pons, they’re a necessity forsure, but do you really wanna be one?

If you win the rat race, you’re still just a fuckin’ rat.

Weekend Vibes: They say sex is the best workout…

On Fridays I’m going to open up my personal vault of sexy secrets so you may find the courage to be the sexy beast of a woman that you truly are. There’s so much potential in that energy if you’re aware of it and you know how to properly wielded it. When you feel sexy down to your very core you feel powerful and when you walk out into the world you have an aura that is undeniably attractive, not just to the opposite sex, but to everyone you encounter. Happiness, love and electric sexual energy are what make life worth living so you don’t have be afraid of tapping into your deepest and darkest desires. And you don’t have to be afraid to express them. You may well be surprised as to the outcome and path it leads you down.

You’ve heard me mention in previous posts that I enjoy dancing and stretching as part of my morning routine but really it’s more than that. I love to dance and have from a young age and although I stopped taking hip hop dance classes over a decade ago, I always loved the confidence and sexual expression it gave me. Today, I love to learn new moves that may not always be appropriate for the dance floor but they certainly are worth being able to do when you’re behind closed doors. Like twerking for example. Gross to most but very seductive in the right setting. Something about feeling your ass bounce in the most sexual way, almost as a taunt is a huge turn on, not just for your partner, but for your confidence as well. Take a good look at his eyes, his mouth, his body language as you pop it in front of him, as you bend over and touch the floor… it may just take the stigma off twerking for you forever.

I put on the sexiest hip hop and r&b I can find and start grinding my hips in controlled circles, just to loosen up. Hear the music, feel the beat, and let the rhythm take you to a sexy place in your mind. Grinding like this will nip in your waste and strengthen your core, especially the lower you go to the floor. Spread your stance out and arch your back when you pop your ass up and down. You’ll feel your muscles burning, so stand up and bend over to touch the floor. Stretch it out. Move your hips side to side when you’re bent over and feel your ass shake as you do. Stand back up and grind it out again, getting lower and moving slowly so you can control the circles. Anybody can twerk and shake it, even if you can’t arch your back just yet, the more you loosen up, the more you will be able to do. Don’t be shy. You’re at home, behind closed doors. This is the time for you to feel about your body how you’d like someone else to feel about your body. Think about it.

Now maybe twerking isn’t something you feel the need to do, so move your hips like a belly dancer, around and around in circles, side to side and wind like a snake. Over time you will see the results in the tone of your muscles and you will feel the way you are able to control your posture when you walk or even just stand. You will feel more in control of your muscle tone and your hips. Your legs will become strong and the shape of your thighs and booty will change. Posture is everything when it comes to the shape of your body. The muscles you use and how you use them will shape and tone your figure. Don’t be afraid to step outside the box with your exercises. Twerking is a great way to squat and have fun at the same time. Winding is a great way to work your obliques and lower abs without doing sit ups or crunches. It’s all about how you use the muscles. And whether you do it for a good workout or to improve your posture, I promise it will improve your confidence and overall sexual energy. Confidence and a sexy attitude are the most attractive things on a woman, especially when they’re the only things on a woman.

They say that sex is the best workout for the female figure, so take some time to do some sexy moves, it might improve more than just your body.

E

2015: Year of the Beast

It’s crazy how something as simple as your underwear can change your attitude. Even the word lingerie is sexier than underwear. When you say to yourself in the morning, I’m putting my lingerie on under my jeans, or suit, or whatever, it changes how you feel and therefore how you walk, talk and carry yourself throughout the day.

I would suggest every woman goes out and purchases a matching pair of bra and panties, preferably something with lace, that they can justify as lingerie, even if it isn’t being shipped in from France or Italy. That being said, I would also suggest that every woman takes a serious look at her budget to see if she can justify shipping something in from France or Italy. There’s nothing in this world that you can put on under you clothes that’s going to make you feel more like a powerful beast of a woman than European lingerie. Start small if you have to, but do it! Do it because you love yourself and you love your body and 100…1,000% you’re worth it. You’ll understand the value of it as soon as you walk out of your home that first time, and just like that it’ll be the best thing you’ve ever bought for yourself.

Now, all the fancy EU lingerie talk aside, you can catch the same feeling day to day by being more mindful of what you put on under your clothes everyday. If you have full bum cotton panties that are white or nude, do me a favour… go into your drawer, grab them, and chuck them right now! They’re gross and they’re probably not even white anymore. Who needs ’em anyways? I like a good full bum panty or booty short as much as any girl but I buy them from Victoria’s Secret, in pretty colours, with lace trim like any sexy female should! Don’t argue with me! Lesson learned, I forgive you. Moving on.

If you don’t have a regular shaving routine to keep your legs and vajee (my own word, sound it out) smooth and well kept, start one now. You don’t want to get caught off guard and there’s no excuse for showing up at work with stubble, or worse… wanting to spend the night with a gorgeous man and having to say no because you haven’t shaved in a week and a half. Smh, step up your game starting now.

We’re turning over a new leaf here, let’s get organized and act like the grown women that we are. Laziness is gross and there’s no point in it, you know it doesn’t make you happy! I do a full shave every Thursday or Friday for the weekend and re-do lower legs and arms on Wednesdays. If you can afford waxing in your monthly budget, even better. Pre-book your appointments at your favourite salon so your next appointment is already a set date and you don’t even have to think about it. And keep sexy and smooth by shaving your legs and whatever else you want hairless in between.

We are the strong, powerful, beautiful and youthful women of this era. Let’s take pride in how we feel by paying meticulous attention to our upkeep and maintenance. Now, I understand that not everyone wants to have a shaving routine, and that’s fine. It’s the idea of it. The idea that we want to look and feel our best when it absolutely counts and not just for other’s but for ourselves as well. Whether it’s work at a bar or date night every Wednesday with your husband. Even if you’re single and haven’t had sex in over a year. I don’t care! If you want to change the way you feel sexually, then you have to change the way you care for your body. And the most important way to do that is to pay attention to the things that make us feel sexy. Like silky smooth skin and a well maintained vagina, beautiful panties and fine lingerie.

I love to use sugar scrubs from Bath & Body Works after I shave my arms and legs. The oils leave my skin feeling unbelievably soft and we all know how incredible they smell. There’s a scent for everyone, so find something that makes you close your eyes and breathe it deep into your lungs. If your mouth waters, even better, his will too.

Enjoy ladies, and please for the love of all things sexy, throw out those nasty old granny panties. It’s 2015, Year of the Beast, fucking act like it.

E